Miscommunication Aficionados Pillows

"My mistake Guvnor - I thought you said CRAP circles!"

'I said 'barium,' not 'bury him'!'

So, if you don't get this mail because I wrote the wrong address again, please reply to me a.s.a.p. Best, Bob

"I meant the dog!"

"No, a dressing down day isn't an opportunity to bollock the staff."

"So tell me, Wallace. Has someone gobbled up my Viagra again?" "No. Wait. I thought they were delicious candy mints!"

"When you promised me 'a set of wheels', I assumed a company car."

Unknown historical typos: Isaac Newton presser, 1687

"Ding dong means the witch is dead. Ding ding means dinner is ready."

"Here's another fine mess you've gotten us into."

'I meant bring your fishing tackle.'

"Elective surgery? But I'm not even registered to vote!"

After years of chasing and fighting they discovered it was all just a misunderstanding.

'Deputy, I asked 'when are you going to a restaurant?' Not 'arrest your aunt'.'

"For the last time, 'port' is left, 'starboard' is right!"

Jude completely misunderstands his doctor's request for a stool sample.

"Excuse me, but it's GREG, Greg Chalmers."

'So you are a writer?'

"This is not what I meant when I said 'let's chill'."

"I thought you said you were dating a rich doctor!"

'Not scream, you morons! I said screen pass! Set up a screen pass!'

"OK, you're right. It does say take 2 tablets by mouth."

"When you said you were taking me south on vacation I assumed you meant to the tropics."

'I could have sworn you asked if I wanted to go to the saloon.'

"No, what I said was we need more stakeholders."

Dyslexic Doomsayers.

'Chapman, you misunderstood what I said about the Clark account. I said mull it over.'

"...But I don't want to get in the back Norma, I want to stay in the front with you"

"There's a man at the door with a wooden leg."

"Just wanted to make sure you said no mayo that way I'll know to give you extra."

Shoot...not literally, of course.