Miscommunication Humorists Gifts

"What makes you think you can patronize me?"

'I said 'barium,' not 'bury him'!'

'Being an opera buff, I naturally assumed she said "I'm taking you to the met"!'

"I meant the dog!"

"No, a dressing down day isn't an opportunity to bollock the staff."

"So tell me, Wallace. Has someone gobbled up my Viagra again?" "No. Wait. I thought they were delicious candy mints!"

"When you promised me 'a set of wheels', I assumed a company car."

Unknown historical typos: Isaac Newton presser, 1687

"Ding dong means the witch is dead. Ding ding means dinner is ready."

"Here's another fine mess you've gotten us into."

'I meant bring your fishing tackle.'

After years of chasing and fighting they discovered it was all just a misunderstanding.

"Excuse me, but it's GREG, Greg Chalmers."

"This is not what I meant when I said 'let's chill'."

Jude completely misunderstands his doctor's request for a stool sample.

'Deputy, I asked 'when are you going to a restaurant?' Not 'arrest your aunt'.'

"For the last time, 'port' is left, 'starboard' is right!"

'So you are a writer?'

"Grandpa can't hear you. Turn on your caps lock."

"I thought you said you were dating a rich doctor!"

"When you said you were taking me south on vacation I assumed you meant to the tropics."

"OK, you're right. It does say take 2 tablets by mouth."

'I could have sworn you asked if I wanted to go to the saloon.'

"No, what I said was we need more stakeholders."

'Another failure to communicate?'

"Just wanted to make sure you said no mayo that way I'll know to give you extra."

'Sir, I'm an estate agent. Not a showbiz agent.'

Shoot...not literally, of course.

"This to you left me says you want a wok."

'Chapman, you misunderstood what I said about the Clark account. I said mull it over.'

'Your chart here says you've had some sort of allergic reaction to frogs' legs...can you be more specific?'

"I'm not sure you see my point of view..." "From down here I'd say that's probably true!"