Miscommunication Humorists Pillows

"What makes you think you can patronize me?"

'I said 'barium,' not 'bury him'!'

'Being an opera buff, I naturally assumed she said "I'm taking you to the met"!'

"I meant the dog!"

"No, a dressing down day isn't an opportunity to bollock the staff."

"When you promised me 'a set of wheels', I assumed a company car."

"So tell me, Wallace. Has someone gobbled up my Viagra again?" "No. Wait. I thought they were delicious candy mints!"

Unknown historical typos: Isaac Newton presser, 1687

"Ding dong means the witch is dead. Ding ding means dinner is ready."

"Here's another fine mess you've gotten us into."

'I meant bring your fishing tackle.'

After years of chasing and fighting they discovered it was all just a misunderstanding.

'Deputy, I asked 'when are you going to a restaurant?' Not 'arrest your aunt'.'

'So you are a writer?'

"For the last time, 'port' is left, 'starboard' is right!"

"Grandpa can't hear you. Turn on your caps lock."

"This is not what I meant when I said 'let's chill'."

Jude completely misunderstands his doctor's request for a stool sample.

"Excuse me, but it's GREG, Greg Chalmers."

"I thought you said you were dating a rich doctor!"

When you said it was a place with women and a bar I didn't think you meant a ballet class.

"OK, you're right. It does say take 2 tablets by mouth."

"When you said you were taking me south on vacation I assumed you meant to the tropics."

'I could have sworn you asked if I wanted to go to the saloon.'

"Aunt Mary, I think you may not have heard me right. I requested a bundt cake."

"No, what I said was we need more stakeholders."

'Another failure to communicate?'

Shoot...not literally, of course.

'Chapman, you misunderstood what I said about the Clark account. I said mull it over.'

Sea kelp? I said "seek help"!

"This to you left me says you want a wok."

"Just wanted to make sure you said no mayo that way I'll know to give you extra."

'Sir, I'm an estate agent. Not a showbiz agent.'

The Embarrassment of Van Gogh

'Your chart here says you've had some sort of allergic reaction to frogs' legs...can you be more specific?'