Misunderstanding Humor Gifts

'No Andy, we're BASE jumping! Now where's your parachute?'

"Mate with you? I was just going to use you as a Q-tip."

Mistaken identity.

'Simon! No! We really were just fooling around!'

'Actually we're members of a mountain climbing club named for Sir Edmund Hillary.'

Billy. The Kid.

"Yo, Eunice – don’t leave me hangin’."

"It says: 'The teamwork that got you here is the real treasure.' Aww."

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

"Been following me around all morning. I think it's the new intern."

Sign in Lion Enclosure: 'Please Don't Eat the People.'

"She's a dachshund-lemming mix."

'Your thesis on 'how to keep warm in winter'? Interesting.'

All this pressure to be the perfect storm...

"Hey team, meet our new V.P. of acquisitions and mergers." (businessman introducing a vicking, barbarian)

Aggression/Security

Apricots

"I've outlived my conventional and alternative doctors."

'Before we staqrt biting do you practice catch and release?'

"No, I said to swab the deck!"

'It's not Spring yet! Go back to sleep!'

'Leap frog? No thanks- I'm a toad.'

''Exercise'? -- But I hate to eat and run!'

Wall Street...

"Today's special is we'll pull the plug on the jukebox if someone else's music annoys you."

No! I said a 100-foot Piazza!

'You can hit out of the trap or take a 2 stroke penalty.'

"Boss, can you check the address again? I have a bad feeling about this one."

Mister Oedipus.

"First of all, kudos on landing a corner office."

"Sure, I may be over the top, but at least I'm not underhanded like him!"

"We never talk about anything. 'Me Tarzan, you Jane. Me Tarzan, you Jane.' That's all he ever says."

"Are you blushing?!"

'...and don't think I didn't see that flying tackle.'

'I sort of drifted into this...I always wanted to do children's gymkhanas.'