Misunderstanding Humor Pillows

'No Andy, we're BASE jumping! Now where's your parachute?'

"Mate with you? I was just going to use you as a Q-tip."

Mistaken identity.

'Simon! No! We really were just fooling around!'

'Actually we're members of a mountain climbing club named for Sir Edmund Hillary.'

"Yo, Eunice – don’t leave me hangin’."

Billy. The Kid.

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

"It says: 'The teamwork that got you here is the real treasure.' Aww."

"Been following me around all morning. I think it's the new intern."

Sign in Lion Enclosure: 'Please Don't Eat the People.'

"She's a dachshund-lemming mix."

'Your thesis on 'how to keep warm in winter'? Interesting.'

"Hey team, meet our new V.P. of acquisitions and mergers." (businessman introducing a vicking, barbarian)

Apricots

Aggression/Security

"I've outlived my conventional and alternative doctors."

All this pressure to be the perfect storm...

'Before we staqrt biting do you practice catch and release?'

"No, I said to swab the deck!"

''Exercise'? -- But I hate to eat and run!'

"Today's special is we'll pull the plug on the jukebox if someone else's music annoys you."

'It's not Spring yet! Go back to sleep!'

'Leap frog? No thanks- I'm a toad.'

'You can hit out of the trap or take a 2 stroke penalty.'

"Boss, can you check the address again? I have a bad feeling about this one."

"First of all, kudos on landing a corner office."

"Are you blushing?!"

'...and don't think I didn't see that flying tackle.'

'I sort of drifted into this...I always wanted to do children's gymkhanas.'

Joe, this is not my idea of 'paint night at the bar.'

'Yeah, I hate change, too.'

'I'm afraid that driving the getaway car is more than just a driving offence, Mr. Jones.'

Corona virus: "Wow, I seem to be getting lots of attention lately."

"Yes, I know darling, getting a sore throat is bad: it really hurts to swallow..."