Misunderstood Humor Collectors Pillows

"You didn't say 'cheese'!"

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

To no ones surprise, they ran head-on into one another. (All couples are wearing teachers reading 'I'm with Stupid'.)

'Me, I don't spend my pocket money: I hoard it...'

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

'Bert's dog training.'

"It's a letter from the Vatican. They say that whilst walking the streets without stepping into dog poo is nearly as miraculous as walking on water, it's not sufficient to canonize me!"

'RUN FOR COVER!!!!! It's another one of those 'Baby Showers'!!!

"Whoa. Someone needs their diaper changed."

"Eat me"

'Rover isn't any good at catching frisbees. You've heard of stone hands?...he's got a stone mouth.'

"Do we have to go to the beach? I think the airline mixed up my luggage."

A 'Falling Rock' and a 'Deer Crossing' zone.

'The bad news is you're going to marry a geek, and not a pro athlete. The good news is the geek owns the team.'

Cake Free Zone

Vegetarian Birds

',,, and if anyone knows of a reason why these two should not be married, let them storm this castle with pitchforks and torches or forever hold their peace,'

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

'I've just discovered that one of my ancestors was a Security Goose for the Roman Army...'

"Fantastic! Do you realize what we've just stumbled upon? It's the fabled Lost Glove Compartment of the Ancient Astronauts!"

A watch face with Stonehenge

"They retired me. Just like that. Seems I'm no good over 55 mph anymore." "How does that make you feel?" "Like I want to bash my head against a wall!"

'Kix? Yes, Ma'am -- you can get your Kix on aisle 66.'

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

The Tale of the Tape of the Tail.

Man falls in water Title: 'Willis was always an overachiever.'

Mulching Vacuum Cleaner

Whatís that, boy? Youíre too tired for a walk and you just want to watch TV?

'Forget worms. Think fast food.'

"Guide to physical comedy fish"

Bathroom Fairy

'You've got the wrong idiot, number.'

Clown to clown on unicycle: 'How does it corner?'