Humor Collectors Pillows

"How's the burger?"

'Is that cow meditating?' 'Dyslexic.'

Christmas 2020

Another victim of disorganised crime

Well...That's what happens when you text and graze!

"It's not easy, but I do my best to keep up with trends."

"Now that's what I call organised crime!"

Department of Knock, Knock Jokes: 'Ring bell for service.'

Flea Market.

"His phone is right there, along with all his passwords. All we have to do is figure out a way to get it and then we can call for a rescue."

'That's a nice gift, Bobby, but I asked for SHIP in a bottle.'

'In future a reg number will suffice, ok.'

'Be honest. Do I have ugly feet?'

Killer Apple Pie Threatens Earth.

'Yeah, what do you want?'

Heyyy, don't worry about a thing. One more energy drink and I'll have you sliced and sutured in no time!

"You should leave this sort of thing to the professionals."

"I hate guarding potatoes with all those eyes staring at me!"

RunningBear@Arrowhead.com.

'Good evening. I'm the scary person who'll be hiding under your son's bed tonight!'

Mrs.Beelzebub's faux pas.

"I didn't say it was a magnificent luxury apartment, I said it had a view of a magnificent luxury apartment."

"...that lump in your sack is just a soccer ball."

The Heating Oil Problem.

Frozen VAT.

'Here comes that fly-by-night.'

'Just between you and me, I'm descended from very small dinosaurs.'

"Yes, it was very nice of you to use one of your wishes to grant me my freedom. But, if I were you I wouldn't have used my first wish to do it."

"I only live for 24 hours, so I need a temp job that pays big bugs."

Road Narrows.

'Uh-oh. Almost out of carpet.'

Farmer Pickles is having a Senor moment!

Help! Will downsize for food.

Dinosaur Pet Stores

'I believe St. Bernards Monastery is now a 5-star hotel!'