Humor Collectors Pillows

"How's the burger?"

'Is that cow meditating?' 'Dyslexic.'

Christmas 2020

Well...That's what happens when you text and graze!

"It's not easy, but I do my best to keep up with trends."

"Now that's what I call organised crime!"

Flea Market.

"His phone is right there, along with all his passwords. All we have to do is figure out a way to get it and then we can call for a rescue."

'Be honest. Do I have ugly feet?'

'In future a reg number will suffice, ok.'

Killer Apple Pie Threatens Earth.

'Yeah, what do you want?'

Heyyy, don't worry about a thing. One more energy drink and I'll have you sliced and sutured in no time!

"I hate guarding potatoes with all those eyes staring at me!"

"You should leave this sort of thing to the professionals."

RunningBear@Arrowhead.com.

'Good evening. I'm the scary person who'll be hiding under your son's bed tonight!'

"...that lump in your sack is just a soccer ball."

"I didn't say it was a magnificent luxury apartment, I said it had a view of a magnificent luxury apartment."

The Heating Oil Problem.

Frozen VAT.

'Here comes that fly-by-night.'

'Just between you and me, I'm descended from very small dinosaurs.'

"I only live for 24 hours, so I need a temp job that pays big bugs."

Road Narrows.

Farmer Pickles is having a Senor moment!

Help! Will downsize for food.

Dinosaur Pet Stores

'I believe St. Bernards Monastery is now a 5-star hotel!'

"I always feel like I'm missing something."

"It's pretty sad when even I can't get a signal."

"My best friend ran away...WITHOUT my wife."

What a lovely night breeze!

"Have you not heard the one about the elephant diarrhea? It's all over town."

Lifeboat in a Bottle