Misunderstanding Humor Fan Pillows

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

I've had a puncture.

"You say to take one of these 3 times a day? How can I take it more than once?"

"Did you watch the super bowl?"

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

Faster, Georges, faster!

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

"And this song goes out there to any girl who might consider sleeping with me."

The Brothers Grime

Murder in Apartment 6-K

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

Pastry Hat

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

Beer Parasol.

"I'm you from the future! Or the past. I've completely lost track of time."

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

"Well, you were late and her boyfriend didn't turn up for their wedding, so....."

'Joe has been partying hard!'

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'

"My favorite part of the story was when Prince Charming kissed Sleeping Beauty and she totally rebooted."

'You're supposed to bring the newspaper to ME!'

Boomerang cow.

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

Can't even hold signs well.

"I fell to the ground from a height of about two metres when I was born: My very first stunt!"

'I'm afraid I'll fall and no one will hear me.'

'It will be a difficult adjustment, but it doesn't mean you can't still live a full and rewarding life, say, in the library, or even a miniature golf course.'

'Bob, wait!!! Nice try, bear.'

Shrewsbury - pronunciation

Presidential surveillance ass!"

The bird feeder.

"Mom, are you sure I'm not adopted?"

"Fish finder."