Misinterpretation Enthusiasts Gifts

"My guess it's guacamole."

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

Love at First Sight

'The school. My counselor told me to make the most of it...'

'Remember you told me to be friendly to your boss.'

"When you promised me 'a set of wheels', I assumed a company car."

"So tell me, Wallace. Has someone gobbled up my Viagra again?" "No. Wait. I thought they were delicious candy mints!"

'When you said, Dream Team, I thought you meant the Swiss Bikini Team.'

'Typical phallic egocentrism!'

'I meant bring your fishing tackle.'

'You feel awkward? You're the one who said we ought to hunt bare.'

'So you are a writer?'

'What?... You wanted your horse SHOD!?'

She's disappointed. Doctor Frankenstein's online dating profile simply says that he's a "body-builder."

'Wellington!...Come take a look at this!...I've never seen anything like it!...Some sort of early sun worship etching perhaps!'

"Excuse me, but it's GREG, Greg Chalmers."

'And here, the artist is clearly making an ironic statement about the fleeting nature of material possessions.'

"When you said you were taking me south on vacation I assumed you meant to the tropics."

"Online I said I was 'blond and curvy', I didn't say I was a woman!"

That's not what they mean when they say that Dick Cheney knows where all the bones are buried.

"Rayna's been kidnapped! And its all my fault!"

'The school counselor says I have well-developed motor skills. Will you bring me a car?'

"It's that time of year when guys randomly explode."

"I told him to trim a couple of inches off the middle and he thought it was a fat remark."

'Mrs. Peterson. . . Sgt. O'Leary here, I'm afraid there's been an accident and your husband is in a comma.'

Shoot...not literally, of course.

'Chapman, you misunderstood what I said about the Clark account. I said mull it over.'

"Just wanted to make sure you said no mayo that way I'll know to give you extra."

Gloria called

'A simple bottle would have sufficed for your specimen, Mr Thomas.'

The Embarrassment of Van Gogh

'You haven't much experience in plant conservation, have you Winthorpe?'

'See! I told you my dad is a boxer!'

'I said Mascarpone not Mask A Pony!'

Big deal - give her the one from that screwball who came in last week.