Misinterpretation Explorer Gifts

"Till now I always thought of the gravy train as a good thing."

Love at First Sight

'The school. My counselor told me to make the most of it...'

'Remember you told me to be friendly to your boss.'

"My guess it's guacamole."

'Chef told me I had to have guard before I used the mixer!'

'Wellington!...Come take a look at this!...I've never seen anything like it!...Some sort of early sun worship etching perhaps!'

"I learned that Moses partied on the Red Sea today."

"Online I said I was 'blond and curvy', I didn't say I was a woman!"

"Your brochure led me to believe it'd have a more temperate climate."

'- but I didn't think it meant a two-made-into one-suit, dammit!'

"You can make your own mistakes when you can hire your own lawyer."

'Mrs. Peterson. . . Sgt. O'Leary here, I'm afraid there's been an accident and your husband is in a comma.'

Dyslexic Doomsayers.

"...But I don't want to get in the back Norma, I want to stay in the front with you"

You are here...

"That isn't what the doctor meant by 'push fluids'."

'...and then, when I asked if I could see her home, she showed me a photograph of her house.'

Come back, sir! "Leave room for cream" was a question, not directions.

"Look, told ya – it’s a Romney poster!"

'I sincerely thank you for your concern, but I'm only setting up a swing.'

'You idiot, I said 'ark', not 'park'.'

'And here you can see one of the incredibly boring amusement park rides that were so beloved in the 20th century.'

"Are you mad at me or just chewing tobacco?"

'Did you or did you not tell me to collect the glasses?'

"So where's the baby cheeses we heard so much about?"

'He must be pleased with me. He's wagging his finger.'

"Will you pull your stupid pants up? This is a RETINAL scanner you idiot."

'Help me out!"

"Try to understand … I never said you had big feet.''

'What do you mean, 'No warranty??' The user manual does not say that I can't send a Cappuccino by email!'

we take plastic - "The sign doesn't mean we take plastic coins."

'men have no idea how to take action.'

"Can I help you find or lose something?"

You're on "Ask Sadie." What's your problem?! The Senate. They tried AGAIN to repeal Obamacare, this time by hiding it in the tax bill. When's it going to stop? It's so repetitive. This reminds me of "Groundhog Day," that film where that lovely Mr. Bill Murray went from having a great personality to being a horrible loser. Um ... I don't think that's what you were supposed to take from the movie. There is one adorable deleted scene with a chainsaw. It's on the Youtube.