Mistake Explorer Gifts

"You can make your own mistakes when you can hire your own lawyer."

"You're fired."

'Oh man, we are so lost...!'

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "Yeah, how come you haven't said 'Merry Christmas' yet?" "Oh, that’s because I was hoping to provoke everyone who’s upset about the so-called 'war on Christmas' to spend all their time on hold waiting to castigate me. That way, all the normal people who don’t think Christmas is just another chance to play the victim can open their gifts in peace." "You're welcome, America." "Why haven't you played 'Jingle Bells' yet?"

Be open to help.

'I'm taking the 'learn from my mistakes' approach to education.'

Assault weapons go over the cliff.

"And for a left-handed designated hitter and a player to be named later, Mr. Steinbrenner would gladly fly Elián home."

I don't know if neuronal stem cells can or cannot become blood cells but one thing is for sure, neuronal stem cells can become controversial.

'Oh Great. We just missed the once a millennia bus out.'

"All I get is a bird's eye view."

Scarecrow Directions

Shipwrecked.

"Let's welcome our new member, Bob!" "You, too!" "'You, too'? Idiot!"

"I woke up early, took a shower, got dressed for work then remembered I don't work today."

'How am I doing?'

"Didn't I tell you to buy a GPS?"

"This is not Easter Island. My boat sank before getting there."

Devil paints God.

'- but I didn't think it meant a two-made-into one-suit, dammit!'

'Regardless, our trip to the Upper Amazon was fine. You know David--everything has to be perfect.'

You are here...

Man: 'What the...?!' / 404 ERROR!

'You haven't much experience in plant conservation, have you Winthorpe?'

'I'm sorry, I must have missed my turnoff.'

"Elves, Jerry, I asked for elves."

'OK, so maybe we are lost...'

'So do you have any travel plans fah the holidays, Eddie?'

"What's caused the recent increase in radio listening?"

Big deal - give her the one from that screwball who came in last week.

"Till now I always thought of the gravy train as a good thing."

Vietnam and abortion atrocities.