Mistake Explorer Gifts

"You can make your own mistakes when you can hire your own lawyer."

"You're fired."

Halfway across the Hudson River Billy Joe realized he wasn't going to Elvis Island.

'Oh man, we are so lost...!'

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "Yeah, how come you haven't said 'Merry Christmas' yet?" "Oh, that’s because I was hoping to provoke everyone who’s upset about the so-called 'war on Christmas' to spend all their time on hold waiting to castigate me. That way, all the normal people who don’t think Christmas is just another chance to play the victim can open their gifts in peace." "You're welcome, America." "Why haven't you played 'Jingle Bells' yet?"

Be open to help.

'I'm taking the 'learn from my mistakes' approach to education.'

Assault weapons go over the cliff.

"And for a left-handed designated hitter and a player to be named later, Mr. Steinbrenner would gladly fly Elián home."

I don't know if neuronal stem cells can or cannot become blood cells but one thing is for sure, neuronal stem cells can become controversial.

Cast away in a life raft with Dr. Phil.

'Oh Great. We just missed the once a millennia bus out.'

"I woke up early, took a shower, got dressed for work then remembered I don't work today."

Shipwrecked.

"All I get is a bird's eye view."

Scarecrow Directions

"Let's welcome our new member, Bob!" "You, too!" "'You, too'? Idiot!"

'How am I doing?'

Jihadi Art Critics Circle

"Didn't I tell you to buy a GPS?"

"Your brochure led me to believe it'd have a more temperate climate."

Devil paints God.

"This is not Easter Island. My boat sank before getting there."

'- but I didn't think it meant a two-made-into one-suit, dammit!'

'Regardless, our trip to the Upper Amazon was fine. You know David--everything has to be perfect.'

You are here...

Man: 'What the...?!' / 404 ERROR!

'You haven't much experience in plant conservation, have you Winthorpe?'

Big deal - give her the one from that screwball who came in last week.

"What's caused the recent increase in radio listening?"

"Elves, Jerry, I asked for elves."

'OK, so maybe we are lost...'

'So do you have any travel plans fah the holidays, Eddie?'

'I'm sorry, I must have missed my turnoff.'

"Till now I always thought of the gravy train as a good thing."