Music Misinterpreter Gifts

"Phil had no idea what he was talking about."

Love at First Sight

"You'd think he hated music by the way he tortures it."

'And now, please stand and join us as complete amateur butchers our national anthem.'

"My guess it's guacamole."

"Who is 'coming around the mountain,' John? Could it be your mother?"

“Hands, Rachel. Clap your hands. Why on earth would I say, ‘If you’re happy and you know it, slap Sam’?”

"This is the murder weapon the defendant used, your honor, and these are the tunes he butchered in cold blood."

'Chef told me I had to have guard before I used the mixer!'

'I hereby sentence you to three years of piano lessons.'

"I don't do spells. I'm a wizard at deciphering rap lyrics."

'Wellington!...Come take a look at this!...I've never seen anything like it!...Some sort of early sun worship etching perhaps!'

"I learned that Moses partied on the Red Sea today."

Tone Deaf and Can't Read Music - Please Give.

Deck the halls with boughs of challah...

Louie Louie Lyrics Challenge. Louie Louie, oh baby, we gotta go. Then what? Every night and day a ladle of me: Back of a girl all cuddly. On a gym that brings me there: A girl with a rose in her hair. Makes sense? Ladle of me? Ladle?! HOJ.

Today, this humble feature attempts to answer one of the great quandaries of modern times. Is it Louie Louie, oh baby, my hair gotta grow? Wrong! What are the lyrics to the Kingsman's Louie Louie?* *Must be gleaned by listening. No peeking on the internet!

While singing the popular song, Clay was disturbed to discover that his thigh bone wasn't connected to his hip bone, that it was, in fact, connected to nothing.

'Okay I'll admit you do look foolish but on positive side you were only one letter out!'

"If music be the food of love, shut up."

"That isn't what the doctor meant by 'push fluids'."

"Look, told ya – it’s a Romney poster!"

All's well that ends well

"How is the new hearing aid?"

"Till now I always thought of the gravy train as a good thing."

'That was absolutely HORRIBLE! When can you start?'

'And here you can see one of the incredibly boring amusement park rides that were so beloved in the 20th century.'

"Are you mad at me or just chewing tobacco?"

'Did you or did you not tell me to collect the glasses?'

'Ronan Keating just called - but it was a wrong number!'

'What do you mean, 'No warranty??' The user manual does not say that I can't send a Cappuccino by email!'

"Can I help you find or lose something?"

You're on "Ask Sadie." What's your problem?! The Senate. They tried AGAIN to repeal Obamacare, this time by hiding it in the tax bill. When's it going to stop? It's so repetitive. This reminds me of "Groundhog Day," that film where that lovely Mr. Bill Murray went from having a great personality to being a horrible loser. Um ... I don't think that's what you were supposed to take from the movie. There is one adorable deleted scene with a chainsaw. It's on the Youtube.

Trumpet player punctures a cheek.

Authentic American Diner: 'Jello, ah said jello!'