Music Misinterpreter Pillows

"Phil had no idea what he was talking about."

Love at First Sight

"My guess it's guacamole."

'And now, please stand and join us as complete amateur butchers our national anthem.'

"Who is 'coming around the mountain,' John? Could it be your mother?"

“Hands, Rachel. Clap your hands. Why on earth would I say, ‘If you’re happy and you know it, slap Sam’?”

'Chef told me I had to have guard before I used the mixer!'

'I hereby sentence you to three years of piano lessons.'

'Wellington!...Come take a look at this!...I've never seen anything like it!...Some sort of early sun worship etching perhaps!'

"I don't do spells. I'm a wizard at deciphering rap lyrics."

"I learned that Moses partied on the Red Sea today."

Tone Deaf and Can't Read Music - Please Give.

Deck the halls with boughs of challah...

While singing the popular song, Clay was disturbed to discover that his thigh bone wasn't connected to his hip bone, that it was, in fact, connected to nothing.

'Okay I'll admit you do look foolish but on positive side you were only one letter out!'

"If music be the food of love, shut up."

"How is the new hearing aid?"

"That isn't what the doctor meant by 'push fluids'."

"Look, told ya – it’s a Romney poster!"

All's well that ends well

"Till now I always thought of the gravy train as a good thing."

'That was absolutely HORRIBLE! When can you start?'

'And here you can see one of the incredibly boring amusement park rides that were so beloved in the 20th century.'

"Are you mad at me or just chewing tobacco?"

'Ronan Keating just called - but it was a wrong number!'

'Did you or did you not tell me to collect the glasses?'

'What do you mean, 'No warranty??' The user manual does not say that I can't send a Cappuccino by email!'

Trumpet player punctures a cheek.

The Illiterate's Club.

"Can I help you find or lose something?"