Misinterpretation Analyst Pillows

Love at First Sight

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

'Remember you told me to be friendly to your boss.'

"My guess it's guacamole."

"I'd like to be a shake-it-off kind of person, but I'm more of a cling-to-it-and-focus-on-it-until-it's-irrevocably-weaved-into-my-psyche sort of gal."

"Here's your hourly job performance review."

"We fell for this last time remember..."

'Chef told me I had to have guard before I used the mixer!'

'Wellington!...Come take a look at this!...I've never seen anything like it!...Some sort of early sun worship etching perhaps!'

"I learned that Moses partied on the Red Sea today."

'Some things are better left unsaid but I never know what they are until after I've said them.'

"Duh!"

"Online I said I was 'blond and curvy', I didn't say I was a woman!"

Public Meetings: 'If you check the guide it's clear that you only need to say 'chair'.'

While singing the popular song, Clay was disturbed to discover that his thigh bone wasn't connected to his hip bone, that it was, in fact, connected to nothing.

'Mrs. Peterson. . . Sgt. O'Leary here, I'm afraid there's been an accident and your husband is in a comma.'

"...But I don't want to get in the back Norma, I want to stay in the front with you"

"The virus mutation equally affects the left and the right."

Dyslexic Doomsayers.

"Look, told ya – it’s a Romney poster!"

'...and then, when I asked if I could see her home, she showed me a photograph of her house.'

"That isn't what the doctor meant by 'push fluids'."

"Till now I always thought of the gravy train as a good thing."

'And here you can see one of the incredibly boring amusement park rides that were so beloved in the 20th century.'

"Are you mad at me or just chewing tobacco?"

'You idiot, I said 'ark', not 'park'.'

'I sincerely thank you for your concern, but I'm only setting up a swing.'

'Did you or did you not tell me to collect the glasses?'

"Forgive me Father, I lied on my 'reason for unsubscribing.'"

"Was that a mixed signal?"

'He must be pleased with me. He's wagging his finger.'

"Will you pull your stupid pants up? This is a RETINAL scanner you idiot."

'What do you mean, 'No warranty??' The user manual does not say that I can't send a Cappuccino by email!'