Miscommunication Analyst Pillows

"It's right there in the e-mail, John- knife fight."

"Was that a mixed signal?"

'There's been a slight mistake. 1542 wasn't the average SAT score - it was the number of students who took the test.'

Public Meetings: 'If you check the guide it's clear that you only need to say 'chair'.'

"I said an ark, Noah - build an ARK in the desert!"

Love at First Sight

"We're to stop talking about 'budget cuts'. Apparently it's depressing for staff and clients..."

'We just don't talk anymore, Gerald!'

"Remember when we talked about how you send mixed messages. . ."

"I meant the dog!"

"When you promised me 'a set of wheels', I assumed a company car."

"So tell me, Wallace. Has someone gobbled up my Viagra again?" "No. Wait. I thought they were delicious candy mints!"

Boss and worker communicating in exclaimation marks.

Communication Breakdowns

"Here's another fine mess you've gotten us into."

'I meant bring your fishing tackle.'

"Elective surgery? But I'm not even registered to vote!"

'She's throwing a dinner party - Just for me...'

'With my new phone I can lie out of both side of my mouth 24/7.'

"Excuse me, but it's GREG, Greg Chalmers."

'Not scream, you morons! I said screen pass! Set up a screen pass!'

"When you said you were taking me south on vacation I assumed you meant to the tropics."

"No, what I said was we need more stakeholders."

"We don't call these savage screaming fits. We call them confrontational verbal interfacing."

"If I could take back ninety per cent of the things I say, then I think people would know the real me."

"...But I don't want to get in the back Norma, I want to stay in the front with you"

"There's a man at the door with a wooden leg."

Shoot...not literally, of course.

'Chapman, you misunderstood what I said about the Clark account. I said mull it over.'

Dyslexic Doomsayers.

"Just wanted to make sure you said no mayo that way I'll know to give you extra."

"So, we're texting lesbian erotica to each other for months, and then I find out 'she' is a Republican congressman from Ohio."

"You said you wanted an Easter-related present."