Miscommunication Expert Pillows

"I think you've called the wrong Bill Baley."

Harold realized it was an error thinking the man was a plastic surgeon when he said he'd rearrange his face.

"Not bad, but I said, 'Stay'."

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

Changing Minds

"We live in the golden age of fake news, alternative facts and spin control. Your resume is too truthful."

"I thought you said I needed to get some 'extra size'."

Staff. Manager. So then you must say "I refuse to lift weights." Hey, that's not what I expected when I hired you to be a resistance training instructor!

So, if you don't get this mail because I wrote the wrong address again, please reply to me a.s.a.p. Best, Bob

"And if all else fails, wave your arms frantically."

"I'm bilingual. I can talk to parents and step parents."

"I meant the dog!"

"There! Now we're getting somewhere."

"We do have on item the internet hasn't already beaten into the ground, ad nauseam."

Debbie greatly misinterpreted the marriage counselor's suggestion that she and Tom have a monthly 'date night.'

'Have your people facebook my people.'

"When you promised me 'a set of wheels', I assumed a company car."

"So tell me, Wallace. Has someone gobbled up my Viagra again?" "No. Wait. I thought they were delicious candy mints!"

"Fulfilling others on Thanksgiving is pretty good advice, wouldn't you say?"

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Communication Breakdowns

"Here's another fine mess you've gotten us into."

'I wouldn't worry too much about his communication skills....grunting is perfectly normal at his age!'

"Ding dong means the witch is dead. Ding ding means dinner is ready."

"This is Jim's second speech on how not to make people mad by talking on your phone. I missed his first speech."

"We've managed to eliminate every problem except the public perception that we're heading in the wrong direction."

Unknown historical typos: Isaac Newton presser, 1687

'I meant bring your fishing tackle.'

"We can't even agree on how cold it is."

Man considers blogging.

After years of chasing and fighting they discovered it was all just a misunderstanding.

'Of course I'm listening Dear: In fact, 'I'm all ears'...'

'That's not true, I do listen. I'm just not very interested.'

Jude completely misunderstands his doctor's request for a stool sample.