Master Of Miscommunication Pillows

'When I said 'I'm breaking out,' I meant that the food here is messing with my acne.'

'We'll be back in an hour. Answer the phone if it rings, Burl.' 'What if it doesn't?'

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

So, if you don't get this mail because I wrote the wrong address again, please reply to me a.s.a.p. Best, Bob

"I meant the dog!"

"When you promised me 'a set of wheels', I assumed a company car."

"So tell me, Wallace. Has someone gobbled up my Viagra again?" "No. Wait. I thought they were delicious candy mints!"

Communication Breakdowns

'The best way to protect your privacy is through a flood of misinformation obscuring the truth.'

"Ding dong means the witch is dead. Ding ding means dinner is ready."

Unknown historical typos: Isaac Newton presser, 1687

"Here's another fine mess you've gotten us into."

'I meant bring your fishing tackle.'

After years of chasing and fighting they discovered it was all just a misunderstanding.

"Excuse me, but it's GREG, Greg Chalmers."

"For the last time, 'port' is left, 'starboard' is right!"

Jude completely misunderstands his doctor's request for a stool sample.

"This is not what I meant when I said 'let's chill'."

'She's throwing a dinner party - Just for me...'

'Deputy, I asked 'when are you going to a restaurant?' Not 'arrest your aunt'.'

"OK, you're right. It does say take 2 tablets by mouth."

"When you said you were taking me south on vacation I assumed you meant to the tropics."

'I'm afraid you've got the wrong department.'

"No, what I said was we need more stakeholders."

"No...I said aperitif!!"

'Sir, I'm an estate agent. Not a showbiz agent.'

Shoot...not literally, of course.

'Chapman, you misunderstood what I said about the Clark account. I said mull it over.'

"Just wanted to make sure you said no mayo that way I'll know to give you extra."

"You said you wanted an Easter-related present."