Master Of Miscommunication Prints

'When I said 'I'm breaking out,' I meant that the food here is messing with my acne.'

'We'll be back in an hour. Answer the phone if it rings, Burl.' 'What if it doesn't?'

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

"I thought you said I needed to get some 'extra size'."

Staff. Manager. So then you must say "I refuse to lift weights." Hey, that's not what I expected when I hired you to be a resistance training instructor!

So, if you don't get this mail because I wrote the wrong address again, please reply to me a.s.a.p. Best, Bob

"I meant the dog!"

"When you promised me 'a set of wheels', I assumed a company car."

"So tell me, Wallace. Has someone gobbled up my Viagra again?" "No. Wait. I thought they were delicious candy mints!"

Communication Breakdowns

'The best way to protect your privacy is through a flood of misinformation obscuring the truth.'

Unknown historical typos: Isaac Newton presser, 1687

"Here's another fine mess you've gotten us into."

"Ding dong means the witch is dead. Ding ding means dinner is ready."

'I meant bring your fishing tackle.'

After years of chasing and fighting they discovered it was all just a misunderstanding.

"This is not what I meant when I said 'let's chill'."

'She's throwing a dinner party - Just for me...'

Jude completely misunderstands his doctor's request for a stool sample.

"Excuse me, but it's GREG, Greg Chalmers."

'Deputy, I asked 'when are you going to a restaurant?' Not 'arrest your aunt'.'

"For the last time, 'port' is left, 'starboard' is right!"

"When you said you were taking me south on vacation I assumed you meant to the tropics."

When you said it was a place with women and a bar I didn't think you meant a ballet class.

"OK, you're right. It does say take 2 tablets by mouth."

'I'm afraid you've got the wrong department.'

"Aunt Mary, I think you may not have heard me right. I requested a bundt cake."

"No, what I said was we need more stakeholders."

"No...I said aperitif!!"

Sea kelp? I said "seek help"!

Shoot...not literally, of course.

'Chapman, you misunderstood what I said about the Clark account. I said mull it over.'

"Just wanted to make sure you said no mayo that way I'll know to give you extra."

'Sir, I'm an estate agent. Not a showbiz agent.'

The Embarrassment of Van Gogh