Miscommunication Buff Prints

"No, what I said was we need more stakeholders."

Ribbit. Rabbit. Ribbit. No, rabbit. Rabbit. Thit ribbit's iccent is thick!

Last call. I don

'When I asked to go somewhere nice and warm, I didn't mean inside your trendy jumper.'

"Self-isolation, not self-immolation."

'Some of these trees have been here for 2000 years... and they still can't talk. Man, we're awesome!'

"Can you tell the oak tree to tell the birch tree to tell the elm tree I said hi?"

'No, I'm the marriage counselor. What you need is the semantics counselor down the hall.'

Letter Collecting Nerd

"'Original' to 'Carbon-Paper': Do you copy?"

'I said 'barium,' not 'bury him'!'

Staff. Manager. So then you must say "I refuse to lift weights." Hey, that's not what I expected when I hired you to be a resistance training instructor!

'Let us pray...'

"Again, you may exercise your right to remain silent, but it's going to work against you since this is a job interview."

"I meant the dog!"

Debbie greatly misinterpreted the marriage counselor's suggestion that she and Tom have a monthly 'date night.'

'No need to text me the answer to that. I'm right here.'

The Horn of Unanswered Email

"When you promised me 'a set of wheels', I assumed a company car."

"So tell me, Wallace. Has someone gobbled up my Viagra again?" "No. Wait. I thought they were delicious candy mints!"

"That's his answer to everything!"

"Cancel my landline...are you crazy?"

"Fulfilling others on Thanksgiving is pretty good advice, wouldn't you say?"

Communication Breakdowns

"I need a more interactive you."

"Here's another fine mess you've gotten us into."

'You know, she's right. It wouldn't kill you to do a little gathering every now and then.'

Post Office: Why Not E-Mail It?

Unknown historical typos: Isaac Newton presser, 1687

"We advised viewer discretion and they all decided not to watch."

"Ding dong means the witch is dead. Ding ding means dinner is ready."

"I was pretty highly respected until email came along."

"In closing, let me tell you that never in the universe have I spoken before such an attentive audience."

'I meant bring your fishing tackle.'

"The Doctor is just wonderful!! He listens to all my irrelevant, boring stories!"