Master Of Misinterpretations Pillows

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

Love at First Sight

"My guess it's guacamole."

Staff. Manager. So then you must say "I refuse to lift weights." Hey, that's not what I expected when I hired you to be a resistance training instructor!

"I accidentally shredded an important document, so I'm trying to piece it back together. It should only take a few years."

'When you said, Dream Team, I thought you meant the Swiss Bikini Team.'

Communication Breakdowns

'The best way to protect your privacy is through a flood of misinformation obscuring the truth.'

Wendel enjoyed magic school but he was having a little trouble in his trickonometry class.

'I hate to tell you... it's not 'amber waves of gain'.'

'Wellington!...Come take a look at this!...I've never seen anything like it!...Some sort of early sun worship etching perhaps!'

"I thought you meant we had a security leak."

'She's throwing a dinner party - Just for me...'

Clancy: Around here we call that progress!

'It hasn't been a complete failure - we've learned volumes about falling.'

'What?... You wanted your horse SHOD!?'

"I learned that Moses partied on the Red Sea today."

'I'm afraid you've got the wrong department.'

"No...I said aperitif!!"

'I feel awful. Coach was clutching his throat and turning blue, but I thought it was the 'bunt' sign.'

"Look, told ya – it’s a Romney poster!"

"Well I say we go on without him..."

"All those close-up magic classes don't seem so 'worthless' on day 190 of quarantine, do they."

'When I said 'I'm breaking out,' I meant that the food here is messing with my acne.'

"Are you mad at me or just chewing tobacco?"

'And here you can see one of the incredibly boring amusement park rides that were so beloved in the 20th century.'

"My audio is okay, but my video is kind of sore"

Naive to its unconventional approach, Wyatt is victimized by the rare and elusive Mumble Bee.

"I survived this long by telling all the young toms that a farmer will bring an ax to cut the fence down and set free the first turkey he sees."

'Did you or did you not tell me to collect the glasses?'

'What? You said court-appropriate attire!'

'You misunderstood. Our ad says that we can help you get out of debt.'

'Personnel said I should see you about getting into the office pool.'

'We'll be back in an hour. Answer the phone if it rings, Burl.' 'What if it doesn't?'

"Why can't they ring the bell for themselves...??"