Miscommunication Expert Gifts

"I think you've called the wrong Bill Baley."

Harold realized it was an error thinking the man was a plastic surgeon when he said he'd rearrange his face.

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

Changing Minds

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

"We live in the golden age of fake news, alternative facts and spin control. Your resume is too truthful."

"And if all else fails, wave your arms frantically."

So, if you don't get this mail because I wrote the wrong address again, please reply to me a.s.a.p. Best, Bob

"There! Now we're getting somewhere."

"I'm bilingual. I can talk to parents and step parents."

"I meant the dog!"

"When you promised me 'a set of wheels', I assumed a company car."

Like.

"So tell me, Wallace. Has someone gobbled up my Viagra again?" "No. Wait. I thought they were delicious candy mints!"

Communication Breakdowns

"Ding dong means the witch is dead. Ding ding means dinner is ready."

"Here's another fine mess you've gotten us into."

'I wouldn't worry too much about his communication skills....grunting is perfectly normal at his age!'

Unknown historical typos: Isaac Newton presser, 1687

"This is Jim's second speech on how not to make people mad by talking on your phone. I missed his first speech."

"We've managed to eliminate every problem except the public perception that we're heading in the wrong direction."

'I meant bring your fishing tackle.'

"We can't even agree on how cold it is."

'Of course I'm listening Dear: In fact, 'I'm all ears'...'

After years of chasing and fighting they discovered it was all just a misunderstanding.

'That's not true, I do listen. I'm just not very interested.'

Jude completely misunderstands his doctor's request for a stool sample.

"Excuse me, but it's GREG, Greg Chalmers."

'She's throwing a dinner party - Just for me...'

'Deputy, I asked 'when are you going to a restaurant?' Not 'arrest your aunt'.'