Miscommunication Analyst Gifts

"It's right there in the e-mail, John- knife fight."

How was your date last night, little buddy? I'm not sure. We were having a great time, laughing, joking

Sorry about the hug. I thought your sign meant, "I love you, too."

"Was that a mixed signal?"

Debbie greatly misinterpreted the marriage counselor's suggestion that she and Tom have a monthly 'date night.'

'There's been a slight mistake. 1542 wasn't the average SAT score - it was the number of students who took the test.'

Public Meetings: 'If you check the guide it's clear that you only need to say 'chair'.'

"I said an ark, Noah - build an ARK in the desert!"

Love at First Sight

"I thought you said I needed to get some 'extra size'."

Staff. Manager. So then you must say "I refuse to lift weights." Hey, that's not what I expected when I hired you to be a resistance training instructor!

"Remember when we talked about how you send mixed messages. . ."

"I meant the dog!"

'We just don't talk anymore, Gerald!'

"We're to stop talking about 'budget cuts'. Apparently it's depressing for staff and clients..."

Boss and worker communicating in exclaimation marks.

"When you promised me 'a set of wheels', I assumed a company car."

"So tell me, Wallace. Has someone gobbled up my Viagra again?" "No. Wait. I thought they were delicious candy mints!"

"Fulfilling others on Thanksgiving is pretty good advice, wouldn't you say?"

Communication Breakdowns

"Here's another fine mess you've gotten us into."

'I meant bring your fishing tackle.'

"Elective surgery? But I'm not even registered to vote!"

'She's throwing a dinner party - Just for me...'

'With my new phone I can lie out of both side of my mouth 24/7.'

"Excuse me, but it's GREG, Greg Chalmers."

It's good news when an agent says "This is a big break" to an aspiring actor. But not good when said by an orthopedic surgeon holding your x-ray! It's jarring when your business partner says "We're going under while he's looking at the books. But it's very routine when said by a submarine captain speaking to the crew. "You're on fire" is nice to hear when you're playing an excellent round of golf. But not what you want to hear when you're grilling burgers. "A thumb on the scale" often mean

'Not scream, you morons! I said screen pass! Set up a screen pass!'

"When you said you were taking me south on vacation I assumed you meant to the tropics."

Look, XYXX! They're friendly!

"We don't call these savage screaming fits. We call them confrontational verbal interfacing."

"No, what I said was we need more stakeholders."

"If I could take back ninety per cent of the things I say, then I think people would know the real me."

'Chapman, you misunderstood what I said about the Clark account. I said mull it over.'

"Just wanted to make sure you said no mayo that way I'll know to give you extra."