Miscommunication Detective Gifts

"Hold your horses! I'm reading the instructions."

"Honey, I got a brand-new bow for our car!"

"I'm having an affair."

"So tell me, Wallace. Has someone gobbled up my Viagra again?" "No. Wait. I thought they were delicious candy mints!"

"When you promised me 'a set of wheels', I assumed a company car."

Communication Breakdowns

"The key is to keep the momentum going when you're establishing the base of the snowman..."

"Ding dong means the witch is dead. Ding ding means dinner is ready."

"Here's another fine mess you've gotten us into."

'I meant bring your fishing tackle.'

'She's throwing a dinner party - Just for me...'

"Excuse me, but it's GREG, Greg Chalmers."

"What's the word I'm looking for?" "What's the word I'm looking for?" "What's the word I'm looking for?"

Public Meetings: 'If you check the guide it's clear that you only need to say 'chair'.'

"When you said you were taking me south on vacation I assumed you meant to the tropics."

"You've always been a poor listener Harold."

"No, what I said was we need more stakeholders."

"...But I don't want to get in the back Norma, I want to stay in the front with you"

"Just wanted to make sure you said no mayo that way I'll know to give you extra."

Home Business - Overnight Delivery.

Dyslexic Doomsayers.

'Chapman, you misunderstood what I said about the Clark account. I said mull it over.'

Shoot...not literally, of course.

Fake news on social media

"I'm not sure you see my point of view..." "From down here I'd say that's probably true!"

"My mistake Guvnor - I thought you said CRAP circles!"

"Size 16? Sorry, I thought you said 61."

"We keep this section closed off."

'I did not call you a 'bar fly'! I said; 'I'll be back, briefly'.'