Young Detective Gifts

"I think this is the last year he'll believe in Father Christmas, he's asking a lot of questions"

Kid to mom: 'How come I ask so many questions?'

Librarian ponders how a small child reached a book on the top shelf.

'Please be quiet while the attempts to locate your head.'

"That new kid is taking hide-and-seek seriously...he's brought in bloodhounds!"

"It's not tattling. I prefer to call it providing intel."

"First buttons, then zippers, now we learn to tie our shoes. Is mom trying to tell us something?"

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

A boy acting suspiciously

* For latent content, see your psychiatrist.

"May I get an equation in edgewise."

'Don't you think it's time you did something about the draught in here?'

'The police is looking for a teenager who reads books... I bet they'll never solve this case!'

Clive couldn't work out who was stealing office equipment...

'... Because it's the law! That's why!'

'Fancy coming on a man hunt?'

"I know it's the right thing to do, but if we call the cops this sandbox will be tied up for weeks."

It's always the same dream. I'm in therapy, analyzing my recurring dream.

'I see you have been mopping the floor while I was out. Are you doing this to be nice or disposing of evidence?'

'If that's the Police Station - we're not here!'

'You're free to go. Another suspect matching the description of having big ears and a trunk has just been arrested for the circus stampede.'

"Oh, I'm sorry, did I ruin it for you by saying it was the butler who did it? Such a good book..."

He's mumbling again! What do you think husbands dream about?

'Now that WE'VE found the secret message we will respond by not telling anyone.'

Serious Crime Squad, Light-Hearted Crime Squad, Happy As Larry Crime Squad.

'What do you mean give the boy a house key? He'll lose it, learn how to break in despite our sophisticated security system and be on his way to a life of crime.'

'Did you see who pushed you?'

'Mom, I swear it wasn't me! I didn't touch the cookies!'

"Wake up, Jane! There's a giant talking squirrel at the end of your bed!"

"You should never ask her age unless it's carbon dating."

'My theory is he's faking sleep in order to get the $50 for the study.'

For latent content, see your psychiatrist.

"I think oral sex is when they just talk about it."

"Well, who's it from? I don't take blind submissions."

You Always Get to Be the Good Guy