Agent Gifts

Snow White and her Seven people.

"Call my attorney and say that I killed Ted in self-defense. Call my publicist and say that I wish Ted the best of luck in all his future endeavors."

"I think I can get you off with a lighter sentence, but it might screw up your movie deal."

From left to right: The man who discovered fire, the man who invented the wheel, and the man who became their agent.

'Because I'm your agent, and I say its good for you.'

"Seth, here, is one of the best young creative compromisers in the business."

'Is that all you're getting for your stairlist advert? You should speak to my agent.'

"I hear good things about you from your publicist."

'Because I'm so sick of those movies, now go get me a romantic comedy.'

But how did you pick me as a double agent?

"We're shopping around for a new agency, and we thought you people might be interested in making a pitch."

"What else have I seen you in?"

"Couldn't be busier. My agent is suing my manager, my manager is suing my lawyer, I'm suing my agent and my lawyer is suing me."

"Of please your highness.. not the Glasgow Empire!!"

"Let me do the talking."

"I told him: Of you want cute, get a kitten. If you want a professional, call me."

"What you ain't - is A GENT!"

'Oh, he doesn't NEED to know how to talk - I'm his agent.'

"It's very kind of you to offer but why on earth would I need an agent?"

"I don't know which I need more to advance my career, an agent or a hacker to release my racy pictures online."

The new 'LONE' Ranger. . .

"So your agent doesn't like your lawyer, and your PlR. people don't like your manager. They all like you."

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

"Yes, Your Honor. I am Mr. Brandon, Mr. Shindelbower's attorney, along with his agent and publicist."

"Sorry guys, the labels decided it's time to give up touring."

'Hey Brian, you know you said you were too old for TV appearances?'

'As your agent, I get ten percent of every thing you make.'

"These are my windscreen credits."

'Michelle's Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms'

'Times are tough. The best I could do was license your images on kids' underwear.'

"My agent."

'I told you I'd make you a star.'

'My agent says there's five men at this party who want to sleep with me!'

Football today

"Yes, Your Honor, I'm Mr. Brandon, Mr. Shindelbower's attorney, along with his agent and publicist."