Agent T-Shirts

Snow White and her Seven people.

"Call my attorney and say that I killed Ted in self-defense. Call my publicist and say that I wish Ted the best of luck in all his future endeavors."

"I think I can get you off with a lighter sentence, but it might screw up your movie deal."

From left to right: The man who discovered fire, the man who invented the wheel, and the man who became their agent.

'Because I'm your agent, and I say its good for you.'

"Seth, here, is one of the best young creative compromisers in the business."

'Is that all you're getting for your stairlist advert? You should speak to my agent.'

'Because I'm so sick of those movies, now go get me a romantic comedy.'

But how did you pick me as a double agent?

"I hear good things about you from your publicist."

"What else have I seen you in?"

"Let me do the talking."

"Couldn't be busier. My agent is suing my manager, my manager is suing my lawyer, I'm suing my agent and my lawyer is suing me."

"We're shopping around for a new agency, and we thought you people might be interested in making a pitch."

"Yes, Your Honor, I'm Mr. Brandon, Mr. Shindelbower's attorney, along with his agent and publicist."

Football today

'My agent says there's five men at this party who want to sleep with me!'

'I told you I'd make you a star.'

"My agent."

'Times are tough. The best I could do was license your images on kids' underwear.'

'Michelle's Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms'

"These are my windscreen credits."

'As your agent, I get ten percent of every thing you make.'

'Hey Brian, you know you said you were too old for TV appearances?'

"Sorry guys, the labels decided it's time to give up touring."

"Yes, Your Honor. I am Mr. Brandon, Mr. Shindelbower's attorney, along with his agent and publicist."

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

Some Tough Free-Agent Contract Negotiations Currently Under Way

"... and, since you are the defendant's agent, you shall serve ten percent of the defendant's sentence."

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

'Oh, the guru is up on the next peak -- I'm his agent.'

'Singing and dancing no problem...but I don't do nude scenes.'

"I can only give you name rank and the number of my agent..."

'Oh, he doesn't NEED to know how to talk - I'm his agent.'

"I don't know which I need more to advance my career, an agent or a hacker to release my racy pictures online."