Model Agent T-Shirts

'You must lose weight...you're as fat as a rake!'

Stick Snowman Auditioning at a Model Agency

'Oh no...The first round cattle grid!'

Girls standing at narrow door, waiting to audition as models.

The Anti-Agent

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

'So you want an advance on your writer's block?'

'It's not easy being ahead of your time.'

1599: Shakespeare's Agent knew what the public wanted

'The C minus was sufficient. I didn't need the advice against hiring a literary agent.'

The Style of Elements

"Your hunch was right, Officer Garcia. We'll need a good editor to clean up this manuscript and bring his unfinished novel to a satisfying conclusion."

"Have you read any of Shakespeare's plays?"

Pashminas are sooo noughties!

That may well be how the catalk models do it, but I still think you look like a three legged horse in a field of cowpats!

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

Doris K. Elston: Brain Surgeon, Professional Model, Artist, Lawyer....Plus Mother of Four.

"Seth, here, is one of the best young creative compromisers in the business."

"I'm sorry, we're looking for the voice of a spunky animated turnip and your reading is more fruit than vegetable if you understand what I mean."

'I have a best selling novel on the tip of my tongue...'

'Here's something that should suit your wooden acting style. How do you fancy playing the lead in Pinocchio?'

'As a famous writer, could you do something to help jumpstart my career?'

"No—You're thinking dog years—Editor years are twice as many."

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

Your resume begins Once Upon A Time...I like that!

'On second thought, perhaps it would look better if your hand was tucked into your jacket.'

"Moby Richard by Herman Melville" "Wonderful! Not sure about the title—let's discuss editor."

"Which part are you reading for?"

"OK, we may not have ways of making you talk, but we do have ways of making your leg twitch uncontrollably."

Elegant woman in backless dress.

"We both see Ben as this summer's breakout child."

"If you saw a book with the title 'An American Speaks Out,' would you buy it?"

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

"Great news, I've booked you two stag nights, a hen party and fourteen solemn thanksgiving services for members of the theatrical profession"

"Those are the failed attempts at my first novel."