Government Agent T-Shirts

"Hello. We're from the Government, and we mean you no harm."

"Here's our mission statement. Read it, commit it to memory and then eat it."

'Here y'go. Keep in touch.'

"Hacking and eavesdropping are my top skills. I guess you could say I'm a good listener."

"Here's a juicy bit of gossip for you!"

"With the fortune we have spent in technology, informers and spies around the world, how is it possible that you still haven't found where the heck is Wally?"

Statue of Liberty spies on people.

'Are you sure your new day laborer is a legal alien?'

Sign of the devil/sign of the times.

'We're looking for somebody to work on our new top secret project. Can you tell me what kind of experience you have?'

CIA Goes Back To School.

Federal witness protection agency.

The new, green CIA.

'Robert, have you REALLY been employed as an undercover Secret Service agent for the past thirty years?'

Agent with security case proposes to girlfriend with ring that has a tiny security case chained to it.

"It seems our precious three year old hacked into the White House with his playtime computer!"

'He's a double agent ..MI6 of one and half a dozen of the other'

'Henry, I know you are CIA, but can't you read the kids a declassified bedroom story?'

'The Fed eases up sometimes, but Walter never does.'

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

The Anti-Agent

"Bond James, Bond."

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

James Bond in a Snow Globe

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

"Seth, here, is one of the best young creative compromisers in the business."

Health Advisory: Flint Water has lead, Ann Arbor water has dioxane.

It's a new government directive requiring us to be 58% more cheerful within 18 months.

"Either we spend millions on new technology to erase each agent's memory following a sensitive assignment, or we just start hiring people over fifty."

Government Offices / In tray, No Exit tray.

"Ok, I found a secure line."

"Whine and cheezed party."

CIA, 'Confound it, Ruggles -- we're SUPPOSED to be worrywarts'