Federal Agents T-Shirts

The Ekert Saga: '...We have reports from the northeast that contentment might be breaking out...'

'Due to budget cuts, all agents will now be equipped with x-ray glasses.'

Trumpled

CIA, 'Blast it! -- We shouldn't NEED a lost & found department!'

'Psstt, Agent Stark from the Witness Protection Program: If you come now, Bo Peep will never find you again...'

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

UK border controls relaxed.

"One more time, Mr Claus - who sold you the data?"

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

"Seth, here, is one of the best young creative compromisers in the business."

'We subpoenaed all of 'Mr. Big's' electronic messages. They're in morse code.'

'As the government sees it, the U.S. budget would be fine if more deficit earners like you, Mr. Wald, go on the ball!'

'We're looking for somebody to work on our new top secret project. Can you tell me what kind of experience you have?'

CIA, 'Confound it, Ruggles -- we're SUPPOSED to be worrywarts'

"OK, we may not have ways of making you talk, but we do have ways of making your leg twitch uncontrollably."

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

"Great news, I've booked you two stag nights, a hen party and fourteen solemn thanksgiving services for members of the theatrical profession"

"For this job, we require someone with excellent multi-taxing skills."

Meet Santa's entourage

"With the fortune we have spent in technology, informers and spies around the world, how is it possible that you still haven't found where the heck is Wally?"

Snow White and her Seven people.

"I can't imagine how things could get any worse."

'Due to recent staff cut-backs and consolidations, I'll be handling your death AND your taxes this year!'

'Because I'm so sick of those movies, now go get me a romantic comedy.'

"Hacking and eavesdropping are my top skills. I guess you could say I'm a good listener."

-'Okay Rebel, find the drugs.' -'Are you kidding? There's dirty underwear here!'

'We can't cut entitlements for federal employees. We're federal employees.'

"You may think the government is a big 'Giveaway' program, but you can't deduct your tax as a charitable contribution."

Tax Collector

"Goodness, grandma. What big deposits you made in offshore accounts without declaring it."

'Oh great, now I have to render unto Caesar, too.'

'Oh, the guru is up on the next peak -- I'm his agent.'