Federal Agents T-Shirts

'Due to budget cuts, all agents will now be equipped with x-ray glasses.'

Trumpled

CIA, 'Blast it! -- We shouldn't NEED a lost & found department!'

'Psstt, Agent Stark from the Witness Protection Program: If you come now, Bo Peep will never find you again...'

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

UK border controls relaxed.

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

"Seth, here, is one of the best young creative compromisers in the business."

'We subpoenaed all of 'Mr. Big's' electronic messages. They're in morse code.'

'We're looking for somebody to work on our new top secret project. Can you tell me what kind of experience you have?'

"OK, we may not have ways of making you talk, but we do have ways of making your leg twitch uncontrollably."

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

CIA, 'Confound it, Ruggles -- we're SUPPOSED to be worrywarts'

'As the government sees it, the U.S. budget would be fine if more deficit earners like you, Mr. Wald, go on the ball!'

"Great news, I've booked you two stag nights, a hen party and fourteen solemn thanksgiving services for members of the theatrical profession"

"For this job, we require someone with excellent multi-taxing skills."

Meet Santa's entourage

"With the fortune we have spent in technology, informers and spies around the world, how is it possible that you still haven't found where the heck is Wally?"

Snow White and her Seven people.

"I can't imagine how things could get any worse."

'Due to recent staff cut-backs and consolidations, I'll be handling your death AND your taxes this year!'

'Because I'm so sick of those movies, now go get me a romantic comedy.'

'We can't cut entitlements for federal employees. We're federal employees.'

-'Okay Rebel, find the drugs.' -'Are you kidding? There's dirty underwear here!'

"You may think the government is a big 'Giveaway' program, but you can't deduct your tax as a charitable contribution."

"Hacking and eavesdropping are my top skills. I guess you could say I'm a good listener."

'Oh great, now I have to render unto Caesar, too.'

National Liberty and Tax Codes.

'Oh, the guru is up on the next peak -- I'm his agent.'

Tax Collector

"Well, if it's a fairy story you want, here's a good one that arrived at the office today."

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."