Movie Agent Gifts

'Do you have an agent?'

"Have you read any of Shakespeare's plays?"

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

"Seth, here, is one of the best young creative compromisers in the business."

"I'm sorry, we're looking for the voice of a spunky animated turnip and your reading is more fruit than vegetable if you understand what I mean."

'Here's something that should suit your wooden acting style. How do you fancy playing the lead in Pinocchio?'

Henry the amazing talking dog.

"Mum, I got the job!"

Enterpe, Terpsichore, Calliope, and Bernie, their agent.

"OK, we may not have ways of making you talk, but we do have ways of making your leg twitch uncontrollably."

"Which part are you reading for?"

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

"Great news, I've booked you two stag nights, a hen party and fourteen solemn thanksgiving services for members of the theatrical profession"

"I love being your agent, Nick, but the guys making the really big bucks now are the managers. Let me be your manager."

"We both see Ben as this summer's breakout child."

'They're only interested in computer generated mammoths.' (Theatrical Agent).

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

Meet Santa's entourage

"What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!"

Snow White and her Seven people.

'Because I'm so sick of those movies, now go get me a romantic comedy.'

"Bob, you're just not selling me on you essential hamburgerness."

THEATRICAL AGENCY, 'We have an opening to do some commercials - How'd you like to be the LEAST interesting man in the world?'

"Face it - in this town, either you're a star or you're just another brown dwarf."

"Er. . . anything else?"

"Well, you're certainly on our short list."

"I'm thinking action roles might not really be your thing."

'The best gig I can get you for your comeback, Lazarus, is DJ in the graveyard slot.'

"You played yourself in your last picture. Everyone found it unconvincing."

'Michelle's Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms'

'Therapy in L.A.'