Entertainment Agent Gifts

"I don't talk to Christopher Robin anymore but I will consider a reunion special."

Gossip columns: 'And rumour has it that singer, Kelli B is said to be in shock after finding out longtime boyfriend, actor Todd Korfull, has been having an affair with, now get this, KELLI'S agent!! YEEOUCH!...' A column talking

Why you've never heard of Ricky Rat.

'Can you do anything else?'

"Mum, I got the job!"

'It's 'big office' meets 'poorly-received flop'!'

'The worst has happened. You've been acquitted, and all our book and movie deals depend on your conviction!'

"Couldn't get any of my acts into panto this year, all full of %�*$ TV critics"

"And you wouldn't believe how much it costs to bring up a child star these days!"

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

"Have you read any of Shakespeare's plays?"

"I'm sorry, we're looking for the voice of a spunky animated turnip and your reading is more fruit than vegetable if you understand what I mean."

'Here's something that should suit your wooden acting style. How do you fancy playing the lead in Pinocchio?'

Henry the amazing talking dog.

"Yoo-hoo. Fifteen minutes of fame is about to start."

Enterpe, Terpsichore, Calliope, and Bernie, their agent.

"We need to sue, claiming free speech is being violated by remotes with fast forward buttons."

"We both see Ben as this summer's breakout child."

"And what else do you think you can bring to the role of Edmund, Earl of Gloucester?"

"I love being your agent, Nick, but the guys making the really big bucks now are the managers. Let me be your manager."

"Which part are you reading for?"

'Nine national treasures in one film! Start writing your Oscar speech, darling.'

"If you get married at the Grammy Awards, can your marriage be annulled at the Country Music Awards?"

'They're only interested in computer generated mammoths.' (Theatrical Agent).

"Hello. I'm director Bob ('Blue Fires') Munsey and this is screenwriter Doris ('Highway to Nowhere') Winslow."

JET (Part I)

The GODFATHER Ride 25¢

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

Derek and Clive (Dudley Moore and Peter Cook).

'Now go out there and sell yourself!'

Sid Sinatra.

"What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!"

"Bob, you're just not selling me on you essential hamburgerness."

"Sorry, you're not cut out to be a mime artist."