Showbiz Agent Gifts

'...but I'm a solo act - why am I billed as the 'Dynamic Duo'?'

"Some agent you turned out to be."

"That was a F-16 breaking the sound barrier, now here's my.."

"Take my advice, drop the name Rolf Savile."

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

"Seth, here, is one of the best young creative compromisers in the business."

"I'm sorry, we're looking for the voice of a spunky animated turnip and your reading is more fruit than vegetable if you understand what I mean."

Henry the amazing talking dog.

"Yoo-hoo. Fifteen minutes of fame is about to start."

"Mum, I got the job!"

Enterpe, Terpsichore, Calliope, and Bernie, their agent.

"OK, we may not have ways of making you talk, but we do have ways of making your leg twitch uncontrollably."

"Great news, I've booked you two stag nights, a hen party and fourteen solemn thanksgiving services for members of the theatrical profession"

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

'@#$=%!} paparazzi!'

"I love being your agent, Nick, but the guys making the really big bucks now are the managers. Let me be your manager."

"Which part are you reading for?"

"We both see Ben as this summer's breakout child."

"What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!"

Toenail clipping missile.

Meet Santa's entourage

'David when we said we would like you to be a role model for us. . .'

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

'Now go out there and sell yourself!'

'Get me public relations!'

Snow White and her Seven people.

'Because I'm so sick of those movies, now go get me a romantic comedy.'

"Bob, you're just not selling me on you essential hamburgerness."

Celebrity Phrenologist.

"I'm thinking action roles might not really be your thing."

'Michelle's Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms'

The Acme Agency: "Dedicated to Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Media Exposure."

"Face it - in this town, either you're a star or you're just another brown dwarf."

"You played yourself in your last picture. Everyone found it unconvincing."

'The best gig I can get you for your comeback, Lazarus, is DJ in the graveyard slot.'