Showbiz Agent Gifts

'...but I'm a solo act - why am I billed as the 'Dynamic Duo'?'

"Some agent you turned out to be."

"That was a F-16 breaking the sound barrier, now here's my.."

"Take my advice, drop the name Rolf Savile."

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

"Seth, here, is one of the best young creative compromisers in the business."

"I'm sorry, we're looking for the voice of a spunky animated turnip and your reading is more fruit than vegetable if you understand what I mean."

Henry the amazing talking dog.

Why you've never heard of Ricky Rat.

"Yoo-hoo. Fifteen minutes of fame is about to start."

"Mum, I got the job!"

Enterpe, Terpsichore, Calliope, and Bernie, their agent.

'@#$=%!} paparazzi!'

"OK, we may not have ways of making you talk, but we do have ways of making your leg twitch uncontrollably."

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

"We both see Ben as this summer's breakout child."

"Great news, I've booked you two stag nights, a hen party and fourteen solemn thanksgiving services for members of the theatrical profession"

"And what else do you think you can bring to the role of Edmund, Earl of Gloucester?"

"I love being your agent, Nick, but the guys making the really big bucks now are the managers. Let me be your manager."

"Which part are you reading for?"

Sid Sinatra.

'David when we said we would like you to be a role model for us. . .'

'Nine national treasures in one film! Start writing your Oscar speech, darling.'

Meet Santa's entourage

Toenail clipping missile.

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

'Now go out there and sell yourself!'

"What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!"

'Get me public relations!'

Snow White and her Seven people.

'Because I'm so sick of those movies, now go get me a romantic comedy.'

Celebrity Phrenologist.

"Bob, you're just not selling me on you essential hamburgerness."

'Oh, the guru is up on the next peak -- I'm his agent.'

"Well, you're certainly on our short list."