Showbusiness Agent Gifts

"I support you one hundred per cent in your battle against upfront fees..."

We saw this episode of Grey's Anatony, I recognize the symptoms.

"Mum, I got the job!"

Why you've never heard of Ricky Rat.

"Yoo-hoo. Fifteen minutes of fame is about to start."

'No. . . I'll never spend £400 on a haircut. . .'

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

"While you're at it Houdini, try and find the last ten years of my life in there."

"Hey, Bob. Things haven't been quite the same since Richard Attenborough arrived here, have they?"

"Take my advice; speak softly but carry a big shtick."

"Wow, your mane looks fantastic! New conditioner?"

'Now go out there and sell yourself!'

Toenail clipping missile.

Hollywood producer.

'Man it's a tough crowd tonight!'

'I'm a star!'

"Can you do battle with him later?... He's watching, 'Game of Thrones'."

"Er. . . anything else?"

TV stage door

Vaudeville producers audition a singing Canada goose.

"In closing, I'd just like to say you've been a great crowd, folks. Don't forget to tip your waitress, and I hope this final number breaks your heart the way show business broke mine."

"When did you first notice you were larger than life?"

Bette Midler

"Fashion Week"

The Acme Agency: "Dedicated to Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Media Exposure."

"Sorry, you're not cut out to be a mime artist."

'Call you back - I'm with my agent.'

'I don't mind playing dead. But what I would really like to do is direct.'

No Talent Agency

'It's 'big office' meets 'poorly-received flop'!'

"I can sleep late, but, as his agent, I still get ten percent of the worm."

Gossip columns: 'And rumour has it that singer, Kelli B is said to be in shock after finding out longtime boyfriend, actor Todd Korfull, has been having an affair with, now get this, KELLI'S agent!! YEEOUCH!...' A column talking

'Excellent. But try it again and this time start your sway at the beginning of the fourth bar, O.K.?'

"I don't know what that is, either - it could be the Olsen twins."