Showbusiness Professional Gifts

"... And of course, because he's only a 'D-list celebrity' you'll get him much cheaper."

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

We saw this episode of Grey's Anatony, I recognize the symptoms.

"Yoo-hoo. Fifteen minutes of fame is about to start."

"I love being your agent, Nick, but the guys making the really big bucks now are the managers. Let me be your manager."

'No. . . I'll never spend £400 on a haircut. . .'

"We need to sue, claiming free speech is being violated by remotes with fast forward buttons."

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

"If you get married at the Grammy Awards, can your marriage be annulled at the Country Music Awards?"

Sid Sinatra.

'I'm a star!'

Derek and Clive (Dudley Moore and Peter Cook).

"Wow, your mane looks fantastic! New conditioner?"

Remember . . . If at first you do succeed, make sequels!'

Toenail clipping missile.

The GODFATHER Ride 25¢

'Man it's a tough crowd tonight!'

Hollywood producer.

"Take my advice; speak softly but carry a big shtick."

"Hey, Bob. Things haven't been quite the same since Richard Attenborough arrived here, have they?"

"While you're at it Houdini, try and find the last ten years of my life in there."

"Fashion Week"

Vaudeville producers audition a singing Canada goose.

Bette Midler

"Sorry, you're not cut out to be a mime artist."

"When did you first notice you were larger than life?"

TV stage door

'Call you back - I'm with my agent.'

"In closing, I'd just like to say you've been a great crowd, folks. Don't forget to tip your waitress, and I hope this final number breaks your heart the way show business broke mine."

"I'm thinking action roles might not really be your thing."

"Er. . . anything else?"

The First 3-D Thanksgiving

'The Final Merger'

"We interrupt this rubbish to give you another chance to switch off."