Publicity Agent Gifts

"I can sleep late, but, as his agent, I still get ten percent of the worm."

'This one is for fighting in the front lines of the international spin wars!'

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

'How fast can you hype?'

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

Why you've never heard of Ricky Rat.

"Mum, I got the job!"

"Heads up! It's another tidal wave of overwrought critical hyperbole!"

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

'Now go out there and sell yourself!'

"My spokesperson won't speak to me."

"The problem is that our ads have either been too Jewish or not Jewish enough."

"Your press kit said you were lots of fun."

"It's touching, actually, to see white dudes fumble around for a few last moments in the spotlight."

JET (Part I)

Snow White and her Seven people.

The Acme Agency: Dedicated to life, liberty and the pursuit of media exposure.

'Burke's B-list celebrities.'

"You're looking at the next Bob Dylan."

The Acme Agency: "Dedicated to Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Media Exposure."

"He's a real throwback. He does all his own publicity stunts."

"When did you first notice you were larger than life?"

"It's a blood curdling novel about the brutal murder of a publisher who rejected a book about the brutal murder of a publisher..."

Man milks a book.

The company's marketing strategy became increasingly sophisticated.

'I have Tourette's, and they play backup.'

"I feel that what would really give your next album a major boost would be some kind of well-publicized personal problem."

'We've got truth, we've got enlightenment, and we've got serenity - what we NEED is media coverage.'

How to get on talk shows by promoting your new book

"First, we tell everybody that you're in rehab. I'll take it from there."

"You are, without a doubt, the worst publicist I've ever had!"

Media Darling.

'Glen Hoddle employs faith healer' "Remember the days we only had a magic sponge?"

"Yes, Your Honor. I am Mr. Brandon, Mr. Shindelbower's attorney, along with his agent and publicist."

'The Parkinson would be good PR, but should I wear the hair shirt or the sackcloth and ashes?'