Publicity Agent T-Shirts

"I can sleep late, but, as his agent, I still get ten percent of the worm."

'This one is for fighting in the front lines of the international spin wars!'

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

'How fast can you hype?'

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

"Heads up! It's another tidal wave of overwrought critical hyperbole!"

"Mum, I got the job!"

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

"My spokesperson won't speak to me."

"Your press kit said you were lots of fun."

"The problem is that our ads have either been too Jewish or not Jewish enough."

"It's touching, actually, to see white dudes fumble around for a few last moments in the spotlight."

JET (Part I)

'Now go out there and sell yourself!'

Snow White and her Seven people.

The Acme Agency: Dedicated to life, liberty and the pursuit of media exposure.

"When did you first notice you were larger than life?"

The Acme Agency: "Dedicated to Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Media Exposure."

"You're looking at the next Bob Dylan."

"He's a real throwback. He does all his own publicity stunts."

'Burke's B-list celebrities.'

"It's a blood curdling novel about the brutal murder of a publisher who rejected a book about the brutal murder of a publisher..."

Man milks a book.

The company's marketing strategy became increasingly sophisticated.

'We've got truth, we've got enlightenment, and we've got serenity - what we NEED is media coverage.'

'I have Tourette's, and they play backup.'

"First, we tell everybody that you're in rehab. I'll take it from there."

"I feel that what would really give your next album a major boost would be some kind of well-publicized personal problem."

How to get on talk shows by promoting your new book

"You've got to blurb me to her."

'The Parkinson would be good PR, but should I wear the hair shirt or the sackcloth and ashes?'

'Glen Hoddle employs faith healer' "Remember the days we only had a magic sponge?"

"Yes, Your Honor. I am Mr. Brandon, Mr. Shindelbower's attorney, along with his agent and publicist."

'Your honor, we are appealing on grounds the post-trial book deals didn't match the pre-trial publicity.'

"You are, without a doubt, the worst publicist I've ever had!"