Publicity Gifts

Man milks a book.

"Nigel's boss told him to get in the conference photos at all costs"

"Nothing showy, but we would like to be publicized."

Three cheers for advertising.

We've done it. Our fake video of you being nice to Rudy has ruined your reputation. You're a weirdo. Your ratings are booming. Listeners can't get enough. They wonder if you're a fraud, think you're more human, imagine they might be superior to you. Time for Part 2. I don't want to know. You fake your redemption and we start selling t-shirts. I want 25% and I won't give or receive any hugs.

Media Whore Raceway.

'Guess who's got his picture in the paper.'

'Your honor, we are appealing on grounds the post-trial book deals didn't match the pre-trial publicity.'

"I'm quitting your defense team. The pretrial publicity isn't up to my expectations."

"Emotional breakdown. Call Oprah!"

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

Hollywood Sign Developers

'How fast can you hype?'

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

Apart from your mother, who else thinks you're doing a good job as Chairman of the company?

Clyde thought “Atomic Sparklers” was just an ad gimmick

"National security adviser"

"Think of it as buying in – not selling out."

"So then the VP of Sales looks right at me and says 'Larry, what's going on? We don't have any traction in the market.' Like it's MY fault!"

This Message Has No Content

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

'As our new company logo, I'm not quite sure it's sending out the right message.'

Lethal Presentation

Create some buzz!

'If only every year was an election year.'

"...And do you Sean Spicer take Kelly Anne Conway..." "The marriage of alternative facts"

BBC - Crisis Management, Damage Control and Liability Supervision.

If nobody had invented graphics

'Got to admit,as far as mission statements go, it's pretty damn bold.'

'Fred, I want you to sanitize this, punch it up, dumb it down, leak it to the media and then be fully prepared to deny it!'