Publicity Seeker Gifts

"Ok, now, let's get one of you demanding your privacy."

'I've taken my knowledge of science and math and applied them to fashion to produce a wardrobe that's guaranteed to malfunction to get you the most possible publicity.'

As Seen On TV

'I used to be a mainstream political party member until I realized Independents get all the media attention.'

The Acme Agency: "Dedicated to Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Media Exposure."

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

"I built this tree house for my kids. But it's so private, I've decided to use it as my home office."

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

Likes: $2.

'You really want that promotion, don't you, Sherman?'

"I just want you to know that promotion, this office, and those Luna bars were mine!"

Career opportunities

Wolf Karaoke

'It's not for myself, you understand."

'I'm moving up to be Chairperson-of-the-board. One of you will be President.' (Men have fencing swords).

Competitive Eating Competition Competitive Vomiting Competition,

"Pardon me, but why is there no ceiling this office?"

'You're going to have to work your way up to the ground floor like everyone else.'

'Sorry, miss. It seems to be stuck!'

'By the time I climbed up to this job, I was too tired to do it.'

"You know, there's a corporate elevator."

"Nothing else in my room can spin on the floor like a bottle."

"You wanted the magic back in our relationship..."

"Why do you always assume I'm going down?"

There now, that wasn't too difficult was it!

"I'm beginning to think they replaced the ladder of success with a greased pole."

'You may feel lost and insignificant at first working for us.'

Danae's Celebrity Career: 'Don't you know who I am?...I've decided to pursue a career as a celebrity, so I'm developing the basic language skills used in the industry.'

'Another nice thing about working here, they tend to promote from within.'

"I gotta cut you off, Pierre. That's your tenth 'pretend Manhattan' since you got here."

'Get me public relations!'

"Botox."

"If you are a Democrat, Mrs. Hooper-Smith does the Macarena during your pancakes."

She. 'Isn't it a pretty view?' Susceptible Youth. 'Awfully pretty, by Jove!'

Chuck played mean hair guitar.