Publicity Seekers Gifts

"We specialize in pretrial publicity."

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

'You really want that promotion, don't you, Sherman?'

Likes: $2.

"I just want you to know that promotion, this office, and those Luna bars were mine!"

Career opportunities

'It's not for myself, you understand."

'I'm moving up to be Chairperson-of-the-board. One of you will be President.' (Men have fencing swords).

"Pardon me, but why is there no ceiling this office?"

'You're going to have to work your way up to the ground floor like everyone else.'

'By the time I climbed up to this job, I was too tired to do it.'

"Why do you always assume I'm going down?"

"You know, there's a corporate elevator."

There now, that wasn't too difficult was it!

"I'm beginning to think they replaced the ladder of success with a greased pole."

'You may feel lost and insignificant at first working for us.'

'You are smarter, faster and more efficient than Carter... they's why I'm making you the new assistant to Carter!'

'Another nice thing about working here, they tend to promote from within.'

Danae's Celebrity Career: 'Don't you know who I am?...I've decided to pursue a career as a celebrity, so I'm developing the basic language skills used in the industry.'

'Get me public relations!'

"What's the best way to break up a marriage?"

"Charlie Greider... that rascal! I had a sneaking suspicion he'd be shedding his skin and moving on to a bigger company before too long!"

"He's only an associate but he's already reaping at a partner's level."

'Man, I'm age 21 now and so far, I haven't done anything important. Things can't go on like this or I will have to forget my plan to become rich and famous by writing my autobiography at age 35!'

"Mom, I got the raise. They moved me to the second floor."

The Acme Agency: "Dedicated to Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Media Exposure."

Ed is upset because he didn't get the promotion he had promised himself.

'Okay, people... The name of the game is Musical Cubicles! The winner gets to be the new district manager! Ready... set... GO!!'

Man milks a book.

"The Curse of the robot followers: At first, Rob was thrilled with the all the attention and followers."

'Gibson, find out what she does over there and offer her twice as much to do it over here.'

'I wish I were as popular as the coffee machine.'

"Actually, I work for a newspaper, but people won't talk to me without it."

As Seen On TV