Publicity Enthusiast Gifts

"Your career needs a jumpstart. Rehab is pass?. How about 3 weeks in prison?"

'Guess who's got his picture in the paper.'

"Congratulations! It's publicity..."

'It doesn't matter if you win or lose: it's how much face time you can generate on the 6 o'clock news.'

'How fast can you hype?'

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

Create some buzz!

He was destined for greatness. Whatever that meant.

Creative department

"Technically he's a zombie but we'll market him as a hybrid."

Important Food Groups

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

"So let's roll up our sleeves and show that America still builds the world's greatest advertising."

'He's written some great slogans and some great labels, but he's never written a great coupon.'

The bad news is our boxer shorts are still bursting into flames. The good news is our brand recognition is through the roof

"Bill did the voice-over for this commercial."

"Well, after ad school, our Timothy made a 6-second Ad that nobody saw."

"Hire me and I'll bring in orders. Big orders. You're gonna need a bigger door."

Sale. To do this job you just need to follow the old adage and "dance like nobody's watching"!

Tarzan has gone into advertising. He's king of the jingle now.

"How's this for transparency: Our product isn't organic but our bullshit advertising it!"

'It's creative as hell! Now that you've got that out of your system, give me a campaign that will sell.'

"Did you ask the client about product placement?"

Eat Beef

Classic Autos: We have muscle cars for weaklings!

Gerald Ratner's return

"The problem is that our ads have either been too Jewish or not Jewish enough."

Honesty in retail

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."

'You're in luck - we do have a temporary position in advertising'.

News for Sale

Actually, Mama was her third word. Buy Now were her first two.

Gullib-Os

Advertising and PR Agency: 'I'm able to spin at 60 words per minute, hype at 50 words and distort at 45 words.'