Publicist Gifts

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"'Killer Whale' is terrible branding. From now on, people will call you 'Happy Silly Fun Fish.'"

Snow White and her Seven people.

"My client has nothing to leak at this time."

"Obviously, because he had the best P.R. people he was the most famous reindeer of all."

"Call my attorney and say that I killed Ted in self-defense. Call my publicist and say that I wish Ted the best of luck in all his future endeavors."

"Trust me, I'm in PR."

"It's a blood curdling novel about the brutal murder of a publisher who rejected a book about the brutal murder of a publisher..."

"Here is the campaign strategy and here are the after-the-fact excuses."

My memoirs - 'I've character assassinated the target.'

'What I need now is a good publicist...'

"I see myself as a lot like Garbo, but very much a people person!"

"I hear good things about you from your publicist."

Man milks a book.

'Perhaps it's time we re-branded.'

The company's marketing strategy became increasingly sophisticated.

"Were you referred to us by your doctor or publicist?"

"It's your agent. Everyone wants a piece of you."

"Rather than monopoly, we like to consider ourselves the only game in town."

"Is there a spin doctor in the house?"

'We've got truth, we've got enlightenment, and we've got serenity - what we NEED is media coverage.'

'I hear you're a celebrity. Should I know you?'

'We're launching a billion-dollar space mission. We need a name. They say you're the best.'

'What kind of agent are you if you can't even get my phone hacked?'

"Ok, now, let's get one of you demanding your privacy."

'My publicist thinks I'm seeing someone else.'

Modern Celeb Agent

How to get on talk shows by promoting your new book

"It's the price of fame."

'The out-of-court settlement will be costly, but the pre-trial publicity...PRICELESS!'

Celebrity Shark Attack.

"I'm wearing this ribbon to help raise public awareness of my breasts."

P.R. Hell: Abandon all hype, ye who enter here.

"Your career needs a jumpstart. Rehab is pass?. How about 3 weeks in prison?"

"No need to sign a contract with J. Walters Agency. We take our branding seriously."