Marketing Agent Gifts

Palm Reading

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

"How's everybody doing? I'm not boring you, am I?"

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

Men's Suits. I hear being suave and sophisticated is coming back in style. That's just an urbane legend.

Apples for sale

ACME INDUSTRIES NEW PRODUCTS DIVISION, 'The best part is, it can repossess itself!'

What can I do? He says it's his thinking cap.

Team Leader

"So then the VP of Sales looks right at me and says 'Larry, what's going on? We don't have any traction in the market.' Like it's MY fault!"

Go team!

'Asynchronous, collaborative, interactive - we're obviously on a roll.'

'I guess every team needs a creative renegade.'

'We haven't improved quality, but we've made it easier to return.'

It would be a painful forty five minutes before Arthur finally admitted he left his presentation at home.

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

"#Win!"

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

'Gentlemen, we need a slogan!'

"Seth, here, is one of the best young creative compromisers in the business."

"Technically he's a zombie but we'll market him as a hybrid."

We make a Valentine's card out of edible flowers that's been dipped in chocolate. It's got EVERYTHING!

"By the end of next week, these fads such as social media, automobiles and making fire will all be over."

"What if, instead of the safe being filled with rawhide, it's filled with catnip and mice!" "No one will buy it." "Drugs and rodents? Who's our demographic?" "The Simpsons already did that."

Even more of what people say (and what they really mean)

Barcode Dreams

Made in China

The Corporate Ladder and the Corporate Elevator.

"I know it's misspelled, but market research shows that cute sells."