Marketing Executive Gifts

'Now think, Harris, what did you do different on that day?'

'...Any ideas for a product?'

"I love your optimism."

'It's a rare generic defect. To put it bluntly, you have no brand loyalty.'

'We need another word for 'loss' that doesn't sound like loss.'

'This will make the consumers think differently about our bacteria problem,'

How to make girls feel uglier so they buy more beauty products.

'Conglomo Corporation: Proud manufacturer of outrageously useless stuff you apparently can't live without.'

'Does it bother anyone else that our entire business is based on one questionable product?'

"If we increase the price by fifteen per cent we'll be able to give bigger discounts."

"Phil's an expert networker. One drink and he's on schmooze-control."

"We only employ first class salesmen because we produce inferior products?"

'Why don't we wear business suits and call ourselves marketing executives? We could make a lot more money.'

'What this business really needs now is some credibility...so let's start with 1,000 social media followers, how much will that set us back??'

'My company utilizes a yet-to-be-developed technology to deliver content that's still in the conceptual stage to a segment of the economy we really hope is out there!'

'In addition to our web, radio/tv and print advertising, we'd like you to add word of mouth. We feel you're the one for the job.'

'Last year we increased sales by 100%.'

'No Game Plan. Please help'

'First we have to convince the people that good health isn't everything.'

'Who wants to see second prize in the sales contest?'

'Of course we're a global corporation. We have mail drops throughout the world.'

"When it comes to online marketing, I'm puzzled."

"Hybrid is out. Let's call it grass-fed."

"Just think, we'll have a captive audience for advertising with no annoying distractions...like driving."

"...and I can assure you that our price increases will be more competitive than those of other providers."

"When we changed the company name, the stocks went through the roof!"

"We could try 'gravity' as an excuse."

"Well, you've fianlly done it! No more rainforest left!"

Direct Marketing...

'Gentlemen, we need a slogan!'

Telemarketing Center: Help wanted. It's not a job - it's a calling.

"I have the new list of approved tweets."

"I'm sure she'll be back soon. She's just somewhere integrating awareness about something."

Thanks for Smoking

"I don't know. It doesn't do anything for my little general - does it do anything for your little general?"