Marketing Manager Gifts

"So let's roll up our sleeves and show that America still builds the world's greatest advertising."

'The sales team did all they could, so I'd have to say the blame for that must fall on the consumer.'

'Fred, I want you to sanitize this, punch it up, dumb it down, leak it to the media and then be fully prepared to deny it!'

"There's a lot of uncertainty out there these days. Or not. Who knows?"

"Now, that's product placement!"

'Believe me, targets are essential!'

"Come in, Timpson. I'd love to hear your opinions of the new marketing strategy - so long as they don't clash with mine."

'Get me public relations!'

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

'...and, if your idea is so imaginative, innovative and original, why aren't our competitors doing it?'

'I eliminated all the platitudes and cliche statements, from your mission statement, and I'm left with this blank sheet of paper.'

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

"I'm afraid pretty much every esoteric company name is taken so we're left with 'Mugwump', 'Grungydink' or 'Buh'."

'We tried it your way and continue to lose market share. It's time you let me take a shot at it.'

MJX Corporation: Committed to Excellence and Whatnot.

'...As you can see, our proposal is also fully buzzword-compliant.'

Office meeting, "I think your advertising concept is stupid, exploitative, and offensive. It's going to make us a fortune."

Since cutting their market research budget management had to find alternative ways of planning their marketing strategy.

'That's your big marketing plan?'

"Unfortunately, we lost the notes on this portion of our sales strategy."

"Look the competition has a big, stupid product. We need a big, stupid product of our own, and we need it now!"

Advertising Agency - "...Fooling some of the people all of the time is damn hard work."

'And finally, there's option three, a classic business model that would reduce our marketing, supply-chain and production expenses by 85 percent!' '

Sales chart plummets into employees head.

I'm going to switch you to a new medication that does more advertising.

'I like to think our false and deceptive advertising is falser and more deceptive than anyone else's false and deceptive advertising.'

Advertising Agency - "What we need is a catchy slogan, something to hide the facts."

'And this is the exact point we put Scruffy in charge of marketing and sales.'

'It's creative as hell! Now that you've got that out of your system, give me a campaign that will sell.'

'I am stunned by the sophistication of our consumer research.'

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

"That's a crazy idea but it might work."

"Okay, let me come at this question a different way: Does anybody here actually know how to sell anything?"

"Broadband...yeah, it's great, now our totally useless website loads even faster."

'Well done! This works much better.'