Marketers Gifts

"I'll start thinking outside the box when the box is empty."

"You realize that if you eat that, you'll get marketing emails for the rest of your life."

Serious Competition: Thingymajigs vs Watchamacallits.

"Agreed then-I won't network you if you don't network me."

"Perhaps more people would give heed unto the word of the Lord if the Lord had a funny blog."

It turns out people aren't buying our product because it's stupid.

'I liked it better before the marketing people got a hold of it.'

'Felder, I'd like a woman's opinion. Why isn't this selling?'

'On a positive note, the massive recalls do increase brand identification.'

'No business all day - I told you this place needed a website.'

'It's not what you know, it's WHO you know.'

'That's right...nothing but big chain...'

"Remember when streakers were amateurs."

'We outsource our grape juice, marketing, bottling and distribution, and yet he's supposed to give a speech tonight on winemaking - bosses,outsources,outbetter show him what a grape looks like.'

'Babies are tough customers. Sure, they smile a lot, but usually it's just gas.'

"Before we decide that SEO is dead, can someone tell me what SEO is?"

"Am I talent or product?"

"The Curse of the robot followers: At first, Rob was thrilled with the all the attention and followers."

"We've all done our part, but now our fate rests in the hands of a higher power: Marketing."

Our new marketing strategy: Sue their pants off.

"We could hire some sign-wavers to stand by the side of the road and advertise our product."

'Buy plain packet cigarettes - get free coloured pens to make your own packet design.'

"As an expert in loyalty, Fido will create an emotional bond with each customer."

'Shark bites seem to be more numerous than ever this year.'

Serious Competition: Thingamajigs and Whatchamacallits.

"Product placement in a cartoon? You're crazy! Crazy delicious, like a smooth, refreshing Pepsi-Cola."

Innocent Joe Public about to be shot with 'direct response marketing' arrow by ad agency

'You'll find that these really let your feet breathe'

Budget 3D TVs - A Con-artist trying to sell fake 3D TVs with Fish Mobiles suspendedmounted to the TVs creating a false 3D effect.

"That's nothing. Wait till you see the hood scope."

'I think we've done it, Igor! This will be the hot new sports drink of the summer!'

Oog, Inc. Hunting & Gathering Solutions.

'This is Thompson, he'll be getting your tea department online and working on it's global brand.'

Experts to advise NHS on adopting commercial marketing strategies

"No, I hate golfing with those ad agency guys... Every time I yell 'fore' they chant in with 'he's a jolly good fellow'!"