Media Marketer Gifts

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

Lynching on social media

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

'How fast can you hype?'

"Greetings, I'm the bluebird of dank memes."

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

Two children are running lemonade stands outside their home; one stand is more popular than the other.

Online form - Submit.

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

'3 Second Loading Zone.'

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

"I don't post selfies because I don't want people to feel better or worse about their looks."

Dressed for Success!

A man peddles U.S. flags on the sidewalk, next to a man peddling copies of the U.S. constitution

"...but the big question is, does the competition know that we don't know what we don't know?"

Likes: $2.

"You know, there are other emojis."

"A dozen eggs and a pint of semi-skimmed...Sorry, looks like I left my presentation in my other coat."

A presenter with a very complex chart to explain a business plan - 'And it's as simple as that!'

"Always remember, sweetheart, that when the service is free, YOU'RE the product!"

Creative department

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

'But you know I don't have brand loyalty for anyone but you!'