Media Marketer Gifts

F&E Cable Co. Sports. Movies. Special. 500 Channels. When you list the options in the cable package, call it "BBC America," not "The English Channel."

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

Lynching on social media

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

"Greetings, I'm the bluebird of dank memes."

'How fast can you hype?'

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

Two children are running lemonade stands outside their home; one stand is more popular than the other.

Online form - Submit.

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

'3 Second Loading Zone.'

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

CEO with SEO

A man peddles U.S. flags on the sidewalk, next to a man peddling copies of the U.S. constitution

Dressed for Success!

"I don't post selfies because I don't want people to feel better or worse about their looks."

'As our new company logo, I'm not quite sure it's sending out the right message.'

"...but the big question is, does the competition know that we don't know what we don't know?"

"You know, there are other emojis."

"A dozen eggs and a pint of semi-skimmed...Sorry, looks like I left my presentation in my other coat."

Likes: $2.

A presenter with a very complex chart to explain a business plan - 'And it's as simple as that!'

"Always remember, sweetheart, that when the service is free, YOU'RE the product!"

Creative department

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."