Brand Marketer Gifts

Generic Products

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

Two children are running lemonade stands outside their home; one stand is more popular than the other.

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

"Russ had a novel published two hours ago and has a children's book coming out in 20 minutes."

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

A man peddles U.S. flags on the sidewalk, next to a man peddling copies of the U.S. constitution

Dressed for Success!

'As our new company logo, I'm not quite sure it's sending out the right message.'

"...but the big question is, does the competition know that we don't know what we don't know?"

BBC - Crisis Management, Damage Control and Liability Supervision.

Burger Queen: The Patriarchy is Dead.

"A dozen eggs and a pint of semi-skimmed...Sorry, looks like I left my presentation in my other coat."

A presenter with a very complex chart to explain a business plan - 'And it's as simple as that!'

"Always remember, sweetheart, that when the service is free, YOU'RE the product!"

Creative department

'Let me see your portfolio of stolen ideas.'

'But you know I don't have brand loyalty for anyone but you!'

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

Important Food Groups

Parade of Businessmen

Jewellery Shop: Disposable income spoken here.

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'