Brand Management Gifts

"What's important is that we learn from what we must never admit happened."

"Well done, another winner, Haskins."

'With 5% spent on talent, 5% on production, and 90% on marketing...I smell WINNER!'

"We have to decide between 'contains miracle ZE-49' or 'guaranteed free of harmful ZE-49'."

Sportswasher's

'I'd add 'UK' to your name and do it in big red letters...that'll be £15,000.'

"Our branding lacks that certain sense of timeless gravitas. Can we have it iconosized?"

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

Other girl's luxuries are my necessities.

'As our new company logo, I'm not quite sure it's sending out the right message.'

Burger Queen: The Patriarchy is Dead.

BBC - Crisis Management, Damage Control and Liability Supervision.

'Let me see your portfolio of stolen ideas.'

'But you know I don't have brand loyalty for anyone but you!'

US v.s. Tech Giants

Pity vs. Bragging and Public Relations

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

'We've re-branded.'

'He's written some great slogans and some great labels, but he's never written a great coupon.'

Direct Marketing...

"It lost a little something in translation."

XYZ Inc, putting a folksy, human face on unfettered corporate greed for over 50 years.

The bad news is our boxer shorts are still bursting into flames. The good news is our brand recognition is through the roof

"I believe it took a team of twenty five, working six months at a cost of �250, 000 to come up with that."

'We have what might be a very good idea...'

"When we changed the company name, the stocks went through the roof!"

'It's perfect, but can we see it in white?'

"How's this for transparency: Our product isn't organic but our bullshit advertising it!"

Target your message

Standard Life Aberdeen Rebrand

"Earth – Love the brand, hate the owners."