Luxury Brand Marketer Gifts

'Nobody special, but rich enough to build this statue of himself.

"Gucci Firenze 1921"

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

Other girl's luxuries are my necessities.

BBC - Crisis Management, Damage Control and Liability Supervision.

Haute Suture

'But you know I don't have brand loyalty for anyone but you!'

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

Pity vs. Bragging and Public Relations

Direct Marketing...

"It lost a little something in translation."

XYZ Inc, putting a folksy, human face on unfettered corporate greed for over 50 years.

The bad news is our boxer shorts are still bursting into flames. The good news is our brand recognition is through the roof

'We have what might be a very good idea...'

Target your message

"How's this for transparency: Our product isn't organic but our bullshit advertising it!"

"What's important is that we learn from what we must never admit happened."

'We have a P-O-P display for our new perfume. Can we move the beef jerky down a smidge?'

Mountain Tops Incorporated

'The kids want a new motto: instead of 'slow but sure' they've come up with 'fast and funky'.'

"We need to cut costs, so I will show good leadership and will not drink champagne for lunch everyday. I will drink Prosecco instead."

Advertising on the internet.

"I know R&D feels that the product warrants at least two 'really'."

'We need to target the rich and stupid.'

Pheromones.

'With 5% spent on talent, 5% on production, and 90% on marketing...I smell WINNER!'

You can't fool all of the people all of the time, especially with our advertising budget.

A potter paints a barcode on a pot.

"Our branding lacks that certain sense of timeless gravitas. Can we have it iconosized?"

"Try thinking like a different brand."

Others' perceptions (which aren't always true)

'Looks like another bad PR week for the company. The whole media team got burned in our last email blast."

"Remember, Katie, genius is 10% inspiration and 80% media manipulation."