Luxury Brand Marketer T-Shirts

'Nobody special, but rich enough to build this statue of himself.

"Gucci Firenze 1921"

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

Other girl's luxuries are my necessities.

Haute Suture

'But you know I don't have brand loyalty for anyone but you!'

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

Pity vs. Bragging and Public Relations

Direct Marketing...

XYZ Inc, putting a folksy, human face on unfettered corporate greed for over 50 years.

"It lost a little something in translation."

The bad news is our boxer shorts are still bursting into flames. The good news is our brand recognition is through the roof

'We have what might be a very good idea...'

"How's this for transparency: Our product isn't organic but our bullshit advertising it!"

Target your message

"What's important is that we learn from what we must never admit happened."

'We have a P-O-P display for our new perfume. Can we move the beef jerky down a smidge?'

Mountain Tops Incorporated

'The kids want a new motto: instead of 'slow but sure' they've come up with 'fast and funky'.'

Advertising on the internet.

"We need to cut costs, so I will show good leadership and will not drink champagne for lunch everyday. I will drink Prosecco instead."

"I know R&D feels that the product warrants at least two 'really'."

'We need to target the rich and stupid.'

Pheromones.

'With 5% spent on talent, 5% on production, and 90% on marketing...I smell WINNER!'

You can't fool all of the people all of the time, especially with our advertising budget.

'Looks like another bad PR week for the company. The whole media team got burned in our last email blast."

A potter paints a barcode on a pot.

Great Business Ideas - Musk Twitter X

"Remember, Katie, genius is 10% inspiration and 80% media manipulation."

Others' perceptions (which aren't always true)

'This scent goes well with a diamond necklace.'

"Our branding lacks that certain sense of timeless gravitas. Can we have it iconosized?"